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Roasts, beef and burns

March 14, 2026

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Brunch

Some films make for hilarious reviews. These 10 reviewers share unhinged hot takes and epic disses. We'd rather watch them than the actual movie

- Sulogna Mehta

Roasts, beef and burns

1 Amanda the Jedi. Women reviewers face more trolling and fight harder to prove themselves. Amanda does a lot of heavy lifting with her sardonic commentary. She finds Wolf Man (2025) "kind of funny in a sad way", because Blake (played by Christopher Abbott) eats his own flesh, losing more teeth. Of course she reviewed the disastrous musical Cats (2019). "I'd rather watch Swiped all day on repeat than experience one minute of Cats again in my life."

2 Elvis the Alien. Film reviewer Marc Salov watched the Twilight movie (2008) and declared that he'd had “mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, unrequited, and altogether unfun pseudo-romantic riff on Romeo and Juliet.” Elvis the Alien (Elvis JS Phillips), went a step further by performing his review in a sparkly skin suit to poke fun at the vampires and their pale powdery skin.

3 Fish Jelly. Nick and Joseph focus on a queer perspective. Joseph thought the horror flick The Mortuary Assistant (2026) felt "like being plopped into the middle of a weird conversation in a language you're not completely fluent in". He didn't hate the new Wuthering Heights: "How many people are attracted to the one who degrades them?". Fair.

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