My Dementia Diaries

I've started writing letters to my future self as I watch my mom's mind give way to Alzheimer's. It's a road map to guide me (and my children) should I follow in her footsteps.

- BY MAE HANNA

Recently, while my 82-year-old mom was staying with me, I noticed her stuffing her pockets with candy and cookies wrapped in tissues. She picked her teeth constantly, a nervous habit, and in the absence of dental floss broke off the sharp silver teeth of her comb and shoved the metal between her teeth. She refused to bathe. I found myself cataloguing all this, the many ways in which Alzheimer's disease has ravaged her brain.

Watching a parent transform into a toddler-like dependent who throws tantrums and can't be left alone for more than five minutes is heartbreaking. But Heather Sandison, N.D., author of Reversing Alzheimer's, says it can also be highly motivating. As founder of Solcere, a brain-health clinic, and Marama, a residential memory-recovery facility in San Diego, Sandison has helped people ditch alcohol, get moving and adopt a brain-friendly diet after watching a loved one suffer from Alzheimer's.

Yet according to a study published in Nature Medicine, the number of Americans who develop dementia each year will skyrocket from 514,000 in 2020 to 1 million in 2060 as baby boomers age. Plus, because women live longer they have a 48% chance of developing dementia in their lifetimes compared with a 35% chance for men. It's a safe bet that anyone who lives long enough will suffer from some form of memory loss. To prepare for this possibility, my husband and I have set up care plans (and set aside funds) so our adult children won't have to make tough decisions on their own.

As I watch my mom's mind slip away, I've started writing letters to my future self—a sort of road map to guide me, should I follow in her footsteps.

The Power of the Pen

Since I was a little girl I've been putting pen to paper to track my thoughts and feelings, set goals and make sense of the world. Apparently I’m in good company. Joan Didion famously said, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.”