PERFORMANCE ART

But there are what he [the artist Terence Koh] calls his “secret performances.” . . . Examples include the time in 2009 when he had the activist and retired actress Bianca Jagger wrap him in bedsheets and push his corpselike form down the stairs of the art critic Sydney Picasso’s apartment building in Paris. -T Magazine, September 28, 2025.

- BY PAUL RUDNICK

I, Walter LeFauve, am also a renowned performance artist, much in the manner of the gifted Mr. Koh. For example, I once had Tom Hanks wrap me in duct tape and lift me into the trunk of his car. He then blindfolded himself and drove down an especially potholed stretch of the Ventura Freeway. Afterward, Tom's wife, Rita Wilson, poked my bruised and concussed body with a large fork and asked if I was “done.”

In 2001, I received a Ford Foundation grant, which I used to have Jennifer Aniston lock me in her kitchen pantry, call the police, and identify me as a stalker. When officers arrived, she told them that this wasn't a performance piece, but I later informed the federal-court judge that her denial was a “central aspect” of the piece. While serving my two-year sentence in a Westchester prison, I asked another inmate to watch “Friends” reruns with me, but he refused, claiming that watching the show had prompted him to kill his entire family.