The Difference Between Ambitious and Absurd

One works well in writing plays, but not in pitch decks. Here’s  how to get real when you’re asking for money.

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AT THE INVESTMENT firm I started five years ago, Unorthodox Ventures, we see a constant stream of founders asking for funding. Unfortunately, some of them leave us feeling like we've just sat through some bizarre theater of the absurd production.

Absurdist plays-Waiting for Godot is a famous example-explore reality versus illusion. They ask whether existence has meaning, and they leave you questioning where truth can be found, if anywhere.

In other words, they're a lot like many investor decks, where founders' assurances of imminent hockey-stick growth leave the audience wondering where the truth really lies, and what is the pointif there is one-in these swaggering presentations.

If only founders would realize, among other things, that it's ridiculous to claim your total addressable market is potentially everyone on earth-unless maybe your product is clean air.

That it's crazy to say your sales are going to jump from $3 million to $200 million over a three-year span-you couldn't count the money that fast. And that it's perfectly all right to admit that there are, in fact, things you do not know.

Founders aren't alone in their investor-deck delusions. Many VC firms, too, are happy to suspend disbelief through these performances, happy to jump on the joy cart and ride it until the wheels fall off. After all, most VCs are obligated to find a home for the cash their investors hand them. Which means the grander the hyperbole, the more money they can dump into a startup while pretending to be good stewards of capital.

As a founder, you have a choice when you pitch people like me. You can be ambitious, which is admirable, or you can opt for absurdity, which can needlessly vert startup capital that other entrepreneurs might better use.