HOW TO MAKE AMENDS

IT’S NOT EASY TO BE THE ONE TO EXTEND THE OLIVE BRANCH AFTER A FALLOUT, BUT LET IT BE THE GIFT YOU GIVE YOURSELF – AND ANY RELATIONSHIPS YOU WANT TO SALVAGE – THIS HOLIDAY.

- DOMINIQUE BOWEN

The holidays are in sight, which means three weeks of happy get-togethers with family and friends, right? Well, if you feel a touch of unease at the thought, this season may also need to be one of difficult conversations to mend bonds. Toes may have been stepped on, things said, phones unceremoniously hung up…

Closer to home, it could also be time to rip the bandage off any tension that’s been simmering between you and your partner so that the next few weeks feel more like The Holiday and less like Marriage Story. It’s been a rough year, with a whole lot of emotional baggage for everyone. That doesn’t mean you need to drag it with you into 2022. It’s time to make amends.

PREPARE FOR A RELATIONSHIP REBOOT

Maintaining harmony in your relationships is an obvious priority, but somewhere along the line you’re going to butt heads, and that’s a good thing. That said, it can also go too far, because tempering our feelings in the heat of the moment goes against our instincts. And this is where things can get a bit more complicated.

Luckily, conflict – even a full blow-up – needn’t signify the point of no return. In fact, it could lead to a reawakening for your relationship. ‘Resolving a conflict forces you to broaden your understanding and challenges you to think differently,’ says Monique Schneigansz, a registered counsellor based in Cape Town. Making amends has the power to provide a deeper understanding of, and even strengthen, a relationship, whether that relationship is with a family member, a friend or your partner.