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RESOLUTION SOLUTION

Jan/Feb 2021

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Spirituality & Health

New Year’s resolutions never seem to stick. JULIE PETERS explores a holistic approach to change.

- JULIE PETERS

RESOLUTION SOLUTION

2020 WAS A HELL OF A YEAR, and many of us have been looking forward to a new beginning—one that might involve better overall wellbeing. Want to meditate more in 2021 or spend more time in nature?

Traditional resolutions almost never stick. Why do we so often fail at making change?

One theory that might provide an answer is the Transtheoretical Model of Change—or, less pretentiously, the Stages of Change theory. This idea was developed by psychologists in the 1970s and 1980s. The idea is that change doesn’t happen all at once. Instead, it needs careful contemplation and preparation. The stages are as follows:

1 PRECONTEMPLATION: Not ready to admit something might need to change.

2 CONTEMPLATION: Considering that something might need to change, but not ready to really do anything about it.

3 PREPARATION: Getting ready to change by, for example, implementing supports and doing research.

4 ACTION: Making the actual change.

5 MAINTENANCE: Keeping the change going for at least six months.

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A PATH FORWARD

IF YOU REMEMBER ONE THING from this column, remember this: Being out of harmony with your soul or with the demands of your spiritual nature is like having a rock in your shoe. It is going to bug you until you fix the situation. If you remember two things from this column, add this: Your soul is not about happiness. The rock in your shoe is not unhappiness. What our soul or spirit wants is to be fully present, innocent, and vulnerable to the vibrancy of life—to show up fully to life, whatever it brings.

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MUCH-NEEDED RECALIBRATION

RIGHT STORY, WRONG STORY: How to Have Fearless Conversations in Hell

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THE SMALL THINGS WE CARRY

I CAN’T REMEMBER HOW LONG I have been carrying protein bars or other snacks in my glove compartment. I do this so that when I come to a stoplight where a person is sitting with a cardboard sign in hand, sun in their eyes and shoes worn thin, I can easily pop open my glove box and offer what I have. It doesn't happen too often, yet it did the other day. I realized the position I was in and what I had stashed away. It's my chance to look someone in the eyes who likely is not used to having their humanity affirmed. For the length of a breath, we are just two people in the same world. Rarely are words exchanged, but the hands say enough. I know it's not a lot, and it is what I have.

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