How Help Your Firstborn Cope With The Addition To The Family!

Help your firstborn cope with the addition to the family.

- Margot Bertelsmann

You’re pregnant again, and you're over the moon! But, your eldest isn’t showing as much enthusiasm as everyone else in your life. “Why is this?” you wonder, a little bit put out. “Why can’t my little sunbeam be as excited about the news as I am? Why rain on my parade?”

Imagine for a moment your partner came home bubbling over with excitement.

He’s just met The Most amazing woman! He’s so sure you’ll love her too, he’s asked her to move in with the two of you. Your reaction? Hell to the no, right? It’s the same for your little one. You can’t expect your 2-year-old to be excited by the arrival of someone they can only possibly see as a rival for your time, attention and even love.

So share your whooping squeals of joy with your girlfriends, by all means.

But when you’re with your green-eyed eldest, try these strategies both before and after New Baby’s arrival, instead.

ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR FEELINGS

A toddler might not understand when you tell her a new baby is coming. But say this anyway: “We’re getting a new baby. Our hearts are going to grow, so we will love you as much as the new baby. But you were here first!” Also, acknowledge that your child may not like it: “I’ll be busy with that new baby, and that can be hard.

But we’ll make special time to spend together, just the two of us, too.”

Your child is part of the family and has the right to be informed and to hear the news from you, not from others.

Once the baby’s here, continue to state your love for your eldest, and also verbalise it when you see him taking strain: “I see you’re feeling angry that I’m feeding the baby again.”