Raising emotionally intelligent kids

Would you prefer to have a child who lacks confidence, social skills, motivation or the ability to express their feelings — but is brilliant academically? Or would you prefer a child who might not excel academically but can show empathy, kindness, problem-solving ability and confidence? We look at how to raise kids with high Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

- SONIA ZADRO

At primary school, Rick has lots of friends and is involved in lots of clubs. He listens, shows empathy for others and tries to help when he can so that others will trust him.

His younger sister Emma, however, is quiet and creative and has only a few close friends. But she’s also a good listener and easy to talk to. She shares her feelings a little and uses music and art to express them. Both Rick and Emma have high emotional intelligence (EQ). They are connected to their feelings, manage and express them in helpful ways and understand and have empathy for others’ feelings.

Jasper is in Rick’s class. Like Rick he’s extroverted, he knows everyone, loves to be centre of attention and is always telling people how he feels. However, Jasper is aggressive and demanding. He has few close friends and doesn’t cope when others disagree with him. He also doesn’t care or notice how others respond to his outbursts.

Sally is Emma’s friend and is introverted like Emma. She focuses on facts and bottles up her feelings. She loves science and maths, but hates being in groups and never asks for help. Most people feel they don’t understand Sally as she rarely expresses herself. Sally and Jasper both have a lower EQ.