Break The Revenge Cycle

Modern politics has dragged us back to the "eye for an eye" days. There's one key phrase that can disarm vengeance, though-and it's simple enough a kid can learn it.

- By Scott Hershovitz

MY SON HANK AND I were in the midst of one of his favorite activities. I was tossing him around the bed while he had a giggle fit. Then Hank went quiet. What's up, Hank? Are you okay?

Yesterday, Hank started, Caden called me a floofer doofer, and then Kelly came to talk to me. There are lots of questions you could ask about that sentence. Some of them are easy to answer. Caden was a kid in the Sycamore Room at school, where Hank had recently taken up residence, just shy of his fourth birthday. Kelly was the lead teacher. Since I knew all that, I went with What's a floofer doofer?

Daddy, it's bad.

Are you sure? Maybe floofer doofers are cool. Should we Google it?

Daddy! Floofer doofers are not cool. We argued about that for a while, but of course, Hank was right. It's awful to be a floofer doofer, even though no one knows what the fuck a floofer doofer is.

It was the second part of the story that Hank really wanted to talk about, the part where Kelly comes to talk to him.

Did Kelly talk to Caden, too?

No, Hank said, indignant. She only talked to me.

Why? Did you tell her what Caden called you?

Not until after.