What is Limerence and How is It Different From Real Love?

When you are falling hard and fast, it can be tough to tell what, exactly, you are really falling into.

- Lexi Links

Hi, couple quick questions for you. Have you ever started dating someone and immediately clicked so well that you couldn’t stop thinking about them, like, all the time? And if so, did you feel like the Earth was shattering around you when they left you on read for an hour? Or maybe you, say, sent an emergency text to your therapist when that special someone watched your Instagram story but didn’t respond to the totally clever meme you DM’d them.

We have all been there, and yes, a little nervous energy is all part of the fun of falling for someone new. But when those new-crush nerves feel more like a panic attack than butterflies, that could be a sign that maybe your infatuation with this person is starting to drive you to the edge of your sanity. This, friends, is what we call limerence.

Essentially, limerence is a handy term for an extreme form of romantic obsession—one that’s more intense, and potentially more destructive, than your standard crush or honeymoon phase. And while that passionate, volatile cocktail of emotions might feel like the beginning of a love story for the ages (or at least a new Taylor Swift album), limerence is *not* the fairy-tale romance it may seem.