How To Deal With Resentment!

Does your man not seem as happy as he should be with your personal and professional growth? Anindita Ghosh speaks to experts to figure out why, and how to deal with it.

- Anindita Ghosh

Has it ever happened that you return home from work, looking forward to tell your man that you have been promoted sooner than most colleagues, and you are met with indifference (read: resentment)? Guess what? This simmering jealousy in couples is more common than you think. “My husband and I are doctors, and we share a practice. Over time, I began getting more patients. A few patients would blatantly ask for me over him. This led to him sulking, to an extent that on some days, he wouldn’t talk to me, and would appear visibly angry. Naturally, our physical relationship suffered. The last straw was when I discovered that he was trying to poach my patients by badmouthing my skills!” says Dr Paramita Baruah*, 39, psychiatrist.

At times, this insecurity also arises when your partner feels threatened by other aspects of your personality like your popularity, confidence, or even looks.

“I like to be well-groomed, and ensure my clothes and makeup are perfect. However, just before stepping out, my boyfriend often makes uncharitable remarks about my appearance that will send my confidence crashing. He has also questioned my intention of opting for certain clothes by saying, ‘Do you wear dresses because you like men staring at your legs?’” says, Kamini Mishra*, 29, media professional.

What is it that makes one’s partner insecure with one’s success or popularity? According to experts, several factors ranging from their upbringing to feeling neglected can lead to such a scenario. Here’s a lowdown.

PATRIARCHAL UPBRINGING