Thanksgiving Rider

This document acknowledges that Lauren (“Talent”) has agreed to appear for a MAXIMUM of THREE (3) days and TWO (2) nights at the residence of her mother (“Venue”) during the Thanksgiving holiday, pursuant to the terms of this agreement.

- By Simon Rich

ACCOMMODATIONS

Venue will provide Talent with complete, private access to her childhood bedroom (a.k.a. “the Pilates room”) for the duration of her appearance. It is additionally agreed that, during Talent’s visit, Venue’s New Husband (“VNH”) will abstain completely from the use of Talent’s bathroom. Venue is responsible for communicating this deal point to VNH and monitoring him daily after breakfast to insure that this stipulation is enforced. Furthermore, if this agreement is broken, and VNH uses Talent’s bathroom, Venue will not tell Talent that it’s “no big deal,” or laugh when VNH makes his usual joke to Talent about air fresheners. Venue is aware that Talent’s bathroom has no ventilation, and is situated right next to Talent’s bed, and that by using Talent’s bathroom VNH is effectively going to the bathroom in her bed. Venue understands that VNH’s use of Talent’s bathroom is a major violation of her space and so disrespectful that it is basically on par with assault. Venue will not gaslight Talent into thinking she is crazy for being furious that VNH has used her bathroom.

CANCELLATION POLICY

Honestly, if VNH uses Talent ’s bathroom, Talent will just fly back to San Francisco. She will literally just walk right out of the house without saying goodbye to anyone and take an Uber to the airport and that will be that. There are THREE (3) other bathrooms in the house; just tell VNH to use one of the MANY OTHER BATHROOMS.

ALCOHOL