WHEN I WAS in elementary school, the nuns told us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
Alice Roosevelt Longworth, President Theodore Roosevelt’s daughter, and a famous gossip, took the opposite view. She kept a pillow on her sofa, needle pointed with her still-popular motto, “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”
People who study gossip define it as any talk about people who are not present. It can be positive, neutral or negative, but it’s the mean-spirited variety—Alice Longworth’s favourite— that has traditionally inspired disapproval. For many of us, hearing and telling scandalous stories counts as a guilty pleasure.
And yet, gossip is by no means a black-and-white affair. We have a natural need for human connection, and gossip feeds that, for good and ill. Much depends on the motivation of the gossiper: are they aiming to warn people about a bad actor, or are they enjoying the malicious pleasure of spreading a harmful story? It comes down to curbing the mean variety while benefiting from the useful.
Why We Gossip
The reasons why people indulge in gossip or shun it are as individual as they are. In 20 years of friendship, I have never heard Lyndsay Green, a sociologist and author, dish the dirt about anyone. When I asked her why she never gossips, she traced her behaviour back to her school days—and her own sense of security.
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة February 2023 من Reader's Digest India.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 8500 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك ? تسجيل الدخول
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة February 2023 من Reader's Digest India.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 8500 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك? تسجيل الدخول
Have Child, Will Travel
Bringing my kid on my around-the-world adventures helped me see her in new and unexpected ways
As Gods Among Us
A photographer explores the gamut of India’s ritual performers who embody deities as a form of worship
My stutter, Myself
If others don't notice my stutter, can I really call myself a stutterer?
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Modification
A Queensland mechanic customizes bikes so veterans can get riding again
I Tried It...Exercises to Relieve Tech Neck
I STARE AT MY phone for five hours a day.
The Upside of Getting Lost
I was in the woods with my family and we'd lost our way. My phone was dead. It was getting dark. How could this possibly be a good thing?
A MOTHER'S CONVICTION
AFTER ALL FOUR OF KATHLEEN FOLBIGG'S CHILDREN DIED IN INFANCY, A COURT FOUND HER GUILTY OF MURDER. TWENTY YEARS LATER, SCIENCE FINALLY UNCOVERED THE TRUTH
KITT THE COURAGEOUS K-9
Officer Bill Cushing needed a partner. His dog needed a purpose. Together, they rescued each other
Lite, Unplugged
Could you get through seven days without looking at a device? I tried—here’s what happened
GET A GREEN(ER) THUMB
Whether you love digging in the dirt, planting seeds and reaping the bounty that bursts forth, or find the whole idea of gardening intimidating, this spring offers the promise of a fresh start.