Dear Lisa,
Five months ago, I came home unexpectedly and found my husband of 11 years in bed with another woman. Until that day, I believed we were happy. He says it’s never happened before and won’t ever happen again. We have a 9-year-old son, so I’d like to make our life work, but I can’t get beyond my hurt and rage. We tried couples therapy, but it did nothing. How do I stop reliving this thing every time I close my eyes? —JESSIE, GEORGIA
Oh, honey,
If I could, I’d get out a good sipping tequila, throw a ratty old quilt over us, and watch Dance Moms with you.
The first thing to know is that there’s no statute of limitations on pain: It’s okay not to be okay right now. Your husband crushed your heart and betrayed your trust. But I promise the day will come when his stupid little fling no longer has the power to hold your soul hostage.
Now let’s cut to the chase. Assuming it never happened before, why did it happen now, and what’s to keep it from happening again? If the two of you can’t answer this, then you’re long overdue for some honest conversation. Though your first attempt wasn’t helpful, I’d urge you to find another marriage counselor. The right therapist not only helps you see your partner’s point of view, but also teaches you to communicate without lobbing a heavy object at his big fat cheating head.
Bu hikaye The Oprah Magazine dergisinin November 2017 sayısından alınmıştır.
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Bu hikaye The Oprah Magazine dergisinin November 2017 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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