Never Say These In A Fight With Your Other Half

These phrases are Lighter Fluid for an Argument.

- Kara Wahlgren

The occasional heated conversation is inevitable in any romantic relationship. In fact, it’s a necessary part of healthy communication.

But when you’re fired up, you may not choose your words carefully, and an offhand comment can easily escalate into a full-blown battle.

Strike these phrases from your arsenal the next time you’re arguing with your partner.

1. “WHATEVER. IT’S FINE.”

When you sense an argument brewing, your instinct may be to avoid conflict by bowing out early.

“It can be really scary when you anticipate that somebody is going to get upset,” says Monica O’Neal, a Harvard University clinical psychologist and relationship expert. But tackling problems together is part of being in a solid relationship.

“Real intimacy is not just about feeling all warm and cosy and kumbaya,” Monica adds. “It’s also about the ability to feel like somebody’s safe enough to express anger with. That is actually a really healthy and good thing.”

2. “THAT’S RIDICULOUS!”

This sends the message that your spouse’s perspective isn’t valid.

“People will always get in trouble when they’re aiming for ‘I’m right, you’re wrong,’” says Susan Heitler, a relationship expert, author and clinical psychologist in Denver.

Instead, she says, acknowledge something your girlfriend has said that you do agree with. Then add your own perspective by saying: “...and here’s another way to look at it.”

That keeps both opinions on the table, so you’re more likely to come up with a solution that works for both of you.