Every relationship has three distinct parts: me, you, and us.
But when you’re dating someone new and amazing, it’s crazy-easy to get so sucked into having fun with bae that you drop your beloved me-time (buh-bye, facemask Sundays!)…or act salty when your partner wants a day or two alone (“What! To play Fortnite? Ugh”). It’s a tricky balancing act—especially for millennials, who are spending more years being single and cherishing their #DoNotDisturb moments than any other generation. (The proof: The average American woman now gets married at 27, compared to 23 in 1990 and 20 in 1960. For men, it’s 29, up from 26 and 22, respectively.)
In fact, giving a new love your all while also preserving some space for solo fulfillment is one of the biggest issues sex and relationship therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, sees in his practice. “Strong relationships consist of strong individuals,” he says. “If you can maintain your individuality and respect your partner’s, you’ve got the basics down.”
To help clients, Kerner and other relationship therapists often use a nifty little Venn diagram that divvies up priorities for couples. There’s a circle of needs for you and one for your partner. Where they overlap is for your relationship, which is an entity in and of itself that has to be fed and nurtured too, writes life coach JoAnneh Nagler in her new book Naked Marriage: How to Have a Lifetime of Love, Sex, Joy, and Happiness. Here’s how you can allocate your time and energy into all three areas so that you, your partner, and your bond are feeling plenty of TLC.
YOUR NEEDS
Nights With Your Girls
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan dergisinin August 2018 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Giriş Yap
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan dergisinin August 2018 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
sabrina carpenter
The singer, actor, and miniskirt enthusiast just wants to chat.
Y'all Better Not Be Sleeping on Canada
It’s so much more than Niagara Falls, okay? And it’s literally right there points up*) waiting for you and your next epic vacation.
We Need to Talk About Secondary Infertility
With reproductive medicine under political attack, this long-overdue conversation is more necessary than ever.
Young Love ON THE Streets OF Mexico City
OUR COUPLE SPOTTING SERIES HEADS SOUTH TO BRING YOU MORE DELIGHTFUL PAIRINGS.
Is Speed Dating...Back?
Hear us out: one outfit, one makeup application, multiple dates.
You're About to See Vacation Everywhere
Sunscreen. But, like, fun.
LOOKING FOR TONI LANE
She was crypto's It Girl, the young woman onstage at the conferences hyping blockchain as a way to radically reshape an unjust world. The young woman at the industry parties schmoozing with wealthy venture capitalists to get them on board. The young woman at the spiritual retreats seeking endless ways to self-improve. People loved her. And then she disappeared. What happened to Toni Lane Casserly-and what does her tragic death reveal?
Higher Power
There will be no \"I just can't believe it!\" sentiments in this story. Twenty-two-year-old pop sensation Tyla isn't interested in being a wide-eyed ingenue-she always knew she'd get here.
COQUETTE
You know it. Tarot actor Avantika knows it. Having gotten a much-needed update, bows are absolutely inescapable right now. Here, we humbly suggest a few ways you can wear them without looking like everyone else.
What It's Really Like to Cut Off Your Parents
More and more young people have entered their family estrangement era, for better or worse. But mostly for better.