Dropping the empty wine bottle into the recycling bin, I tried to ignore the obvious clink of glass. It was November 2021 and I was stuck in an endless cycle, reaching for the wine every night. Despite my love of vino, I wasn't an alcoholic as I could easily go without wine. But recently I'd gained weight, wasn't sleeping well and my self-esteem was low. And worse than that, I felt like I wasn't being the mum that my children deserved.
For most of my adult life I was a steady size 14. Weighing around 11st, and at 5ft 2in, I was content with my body. Of course, when I had my boys, Teddy in December 2014, then Joey two years later, I put on a bit of weight but I managed to lose most of it after. I exercised often and I had a gym membership too, which I used for classes. My husband Tommy and I enjoyed the odd Indian takeaway, but most of the time we ate home-cooked, healthy meals.
But in November 2018, we lost Tommy's mum Lin, and through the stress and grief I found myself reaching for a glass of red wine most evenings. The pattern continued and by the time we went into lockdown in March 2020, my evening wine ritual was in full swing.
Teddy, then five, was in reception at school and Joey, three, was in nursery, so when everything shut down and homeschooling started, I found it all too much and by 4pm I was cracking open a bottle of red, pouring myself generous glasses.
Tommy went the opposite way, working out at home and going on bike rides. But lockdown made me feel really low and by the summer, I was drinking even more. Tommy must have noticed, but he never said anything, probably assuming I'd cut back as soon as lockdown ended.
This story is from the January 01, 2024 edition of WOMAN'S OWN.
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This story is from the January 01, 2024 edition of WOMAN'S OWN.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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