For weeks, you’ve been working on a fundraiser for your local animal shelter. But the posters of the cute adoptees aren’t quite right and the baskets for the tricky tray event aren’t quite full enough… at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself. Your perfectionism may seem motivating, but the reverse is also true: It’s causing you to delay pulling the trigger on your goals out of fear of not being “good enough.” This is just one way we sabotage our self-interests. Fortunately, getting to the root of this impulse will help us defuse it and embrace greater confidence and happiness.
“Self-sabotage says, ‘I want something, but for some reason, I’m engaging in behavior that makes me move further away from it,’” explains psychologist Candice Seti, PsyD, author of The Self-Sabotage Behavior Workbook. “For example, you might tell yourself that you want to be in a relationship, yet you never go on a dating site.” This self-defense mechanism seemingly protects us from disappointment—after all, if we never try, we can’t fail—but it actually blinds us to our true potential.
Despite its many iterations, from perfectionism to procrastination, one common denominator links all self-sabotage. “It’s always about fear—of change, of the unknown, of failure and even of success,” says Seti. Simply knowing why we do it can help us outsmart these self-limiting beliefs. Read on for four common sabotaging traps and the strategies proven to let you reclaim the joy you deserve.
THE SABOTAGE
This story is from the September 04, 2023 edition of First for Women.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the September 04, 2023 edition of First for Women.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
10 Brilliant Uses for Sugar
Simple ways the sweet staple saves the day
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? - Party of Five Cast
The show ended nearly 25 years ago, and the cast's lives have gone in many different directions. Catch up with them today!
A lovely tulip mix to ring in spring!
Right now, florists are styling simple yet stunning bouquets that echo the wild, blooming beauty of a lush spring garden.
OUTSMART STRESS WITH THE TRUE YOU!
Experts explain how to know, appreciate and respond to life as your authentic self-and unleash the joy that springs from embracing all of who you are
3 HEARTWARMING STORIES
Boost your bliss with these uplifting tales
TALKING ABOUT...THE POWER OF HOPE, PRAYER AND FRESH STARTS
with Today anchor, author and mom of two HODA KOTB
DISCOVERED: Live-longer secrets of SUPER-AGERS
We all want to blow out 90 (or more!) candles on our birthday cake feeling healthy and mentally sharp. Here, new research reveals the simple—and, dare we say, fun!-secrets to living a long, happy life
"I finally got my life back!"
Another day watching life pass me by, thought Cindy McDaniel, 58, as she lay in bed. Unable to focus on a book, TV or her phone, the once-active mental health counselor spent weeks doing nothing
One size SMALLER
NEWS: Sneaky tissue blockages make It nearly impossible for women over 50 to lose weight. To the rescue: Simple moves and delicious foods that restore health to power off pounds—fast!
6 DELICIOUS PAIN ENDERS
Erase spring aches with these tasty treats