BAA-BYE TO THE GOATS

THE YEAR IN RETIREMENTS BEGAN WITH A BIT OF A FALSE ALARM. BUT EVEN WITHOUT TOM BRADY. THE 2022 CLASS OF RETIRED ATHLETES IS A PEERLESS GROUP

> ALBERT PUJOLS

NOTHING CAPTURES Pujols's talent like his nickname: The Machine. To earn that moniker, he was not just incredibly powerful but also incredibly consistent, a hitter who thrived on the border of what seemed reasonable for a human being. And that was Pujols-so good that it seemed he could hardly be real. He was Rookie of the Year, a three-time MVP, a six-time Silver Slugger and 11-time All-Star. Throughout the aughts, he was a batter who rarely had credible peers. Even the best machines wear out eventually, but in his final season, at age 42, Pujols managed one last thrill with a return to form. He hit 24 home runs in 2022, passing the milestone of 700 and finishing with a career total of 703. Now, in retirement, his legacy endures through his other nickname-one bestowed on him not by media or fans. Tío Albert, as fellow players call him, has been a source of mentorship and wisdom, leaving friends and protégés across the game.

-Emma Baccellieri

> ROB GRONKOWSKI

GRONKOWSKI WAS the first modern Super Tight End, and he was a catalyst for the later years of New England's two-decadeslong stretch of dominance. He was, essentially, a Pro Bowl left tackle and wide receiver all at once. Last we saw him in a football context, he was wrapping up an injury-plagued season with a playoff loss. to the Rams. But perhaps it's better to remember him in a version of his natural habitat: booty-dropping on a boat after the Buccaneers won Super Bowl LV. He now seems content masterminding his brand, maintaining the illusion that he's a meathead, rather than a football savant. Today's NFL is full of tight ends like Mark Andrews, George Kittle and Travis Kelce-brutal blockers and A-plus pass catchers. That's the biggest compliment you could give Gronk: As he left the scene, everyone tried to find a knockoff.

-Conor Orr