Cities can be liveable. But what makes them lovable?

Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong and Japan each offer a glimpse of the intangible features that attract affection

- Li Xueying

Many visitors to Kuala Lumpur go up the 421m-high KL Tower for glittering views of Malaysia's capital city.

For my family on a recent trip, the highlight came at the end of our dinner at the tower's revolving restaurant.

A waiter brought over a complimentary piece of birthday cake for my older daughter, who had just turned eight. We sang the song, she blew out the candles and offered a portion to the cheery Malaysian family of three a couple in their 40s with a teenage son at the table next to ours.

When we finished, we waved goodbye and made our way out. As we waited for the lift, the woman from the neighbouring table hurried over.

She began with an apology. "I am sorry, I don't have a hongbao, a red packet." She held out a plain brown envelope to my daughter. On it, the words "Happy Birthday!" were hastily written in blue ballpoint ink. "It is just to wish you good health and to grow up well," she told my daughter.

I was so startled - and I regret it that I did not have the presence of mind to ask the woman for her name. I thanked her profusely and had my child accept her well wishes.

Downstairs, my daughter opened the envelope. There was a RM20 (S$6) note.

Back home in Singapore, it sits in her "money jar" - a dash of orange amid the swirl of purple $2 notes that she has saved from her recess allowance over the past year. It is a vivid reminder of the spontaneous warmth shown by a stranger in a strange city.

I told my husband, who was working that evening, what had happened. "It's ren qing wei," he said succinctly, using a Mandarin term that is perhaps best yet inadequately translated as "the human touch". We were treated with kindness by someone who did not have to offer it, and who did not stand to gain anything from it. There was nothing remotely transactional or premeditated about it.