The 'boy room' problem

Age really is just anumber when it comes to single men’s bedrooms. Helen Coffey holds her nose and voyages into a world of pizza crusts and T-shirts that double as tea towels

- Helen Coffey

“Yeah, sorry – I don’t actually have a bed. Is that OK?”

These aren’t quite the last words you want to hear when you’re planning to spend the night at a man’s house for the first time – but they’re certainly up there. By the time they’ve spoken, you feel too invested to answer honestly – um, NO! – and walk straight out the door. Instead, you smile and nod politely, mentally planning your exit strategy, while they explain that the sofa is surprisingly comfortable, that it’s just a temporary solution, that actually it makes more sense not to have a bed at the moment because blah, blah, blah…

I was used to this sort of nonsense when dating in my twenties; the sparse, student aesthetic seemed tough to shake off, permeating through the flats and houseshares of nearly every young professional male I encountered for the next decade. But as I entered my thirties and began going out with older men, I expected these adolescent interior design choices to give way to something slightly more... sophisticated. I wasn’t anticipating cushions and candles, but perhaps an eye for a nice piece of midcentury furniture, rather than the ubiquitous Ikea BILLY bookcase; a couple of tastefully framed prints on the wall, rather than a ripped club night poster left over from the Noughties; or simply a laundry system that didn’t involve piles of dirty and clean clothes indiscriminately strewn across the floor. I was, for the most part, sadly mistaken.