ERG have no choice but to live in their own fantasyland

The once reliable Tory backbench news barometer has been in need of recalibration for some time now. For several years, specifically the Boris Johnson years, you could tell precisely how indefensible things had become by who it was who had appeared on the television to defend it.

- TOM PECK

For standard outrages there would always be Nadine Dorries. Abominations: Michael Fabricant. Actual atrocities: Desmond Swayne.

It provided, if nothing else, an unerringly precise matrix through which to calibrate the stupidest people in Westminster. For example, the Johnson defence on Partygate moved on from "there were no parties", through "I didn't know there were any parties" to, "I didn't know there were any parties even though I was at them" - it was only at this very latest stage that the decks of the rolling news channels were cleared for Messrs Fabricant and Swayne.

But what made life tough was the occasional re-emergence of Mark Francois, given that his stupidity is so profound it comes with its own magnetic field.

His role, since 2016, has been to turn up not when something stupid has happened, but when something sensible has happened, and to then say no to it, on account of it not being stupid enough for him.