Summer sun spells pure misery for me

I PREFER IT DARK AT 4PM

- JANE O’GORMAN

I HATE the summertime. Sunshine depresses me.

I feel sweaty, lonely and exposed. The warm days and hot nights do nothing for me. I struggle to sleep and don’t know what to do with myself.

I’m single and resent seeing loved-up couples walking armin-arm. I loathe show-offs on social media who post pictures of themselves “living their best lives” and “making memories”.

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I’m a serious swimmer. Plunging into cold water keeps me sane. I’m at my local lido 365 days of the year.

But the summer is horrible. I have to navigate my way around slowcoaches, but I have to look at narcissists sunning themselves.

I long for the anonymity of winter nights, when it gets dark at 4pm and I can wrap up in a massive coat and woollen hat and hide myself from the world.