ASHAMED

Clueless Infantino says he feels Qatari, Arab, African, gay and disabled but what this drunk on power president should feel is....

- KEITH JACKSON

YOU couldn't get a cold bottle of Bud on the ground if your life depended on it.

But the staff must be pouring some serious gentleman's measures, way up there in the presidential suite.

Because if Gianni Infantino wasn't still half cut when he addressed the world's media on Saturday morning then FIFA's godfather must have been drunk on power alone.

Infantino set off on a narcissistic rant for almost an hour and the more he spoke the more absurd, the more insulting and the more utterly outrageous this tone deaf monologue became.

If you didn't hear it all then here's an edited recap.

If you are even slightly uneasy or uncomfortable with the fact that the World Cup has been bought and sold with Qatari oil money, then you are part of the problem.

If you struggle to comprehend how more than 6,000 migrant workers could have perished - having slogged for a pound an hour like victims of a modern day slave trade then there's a good chance you're an Islamophobe.

And if you can't quite get your head around why the LGBTQ+ community should not be deserving of the same human rights as the rest of us then it's almost certainly because you're a filthy, rotten racist.

How dare Infantino play such a despicable and divisive card? How dare he sit there pointing proudly to the FIFA badge on his blazer as if his organisation is some paragon of virtue and all that's decent and proper?

When the truth of the matter is that football's governing body has dumped this entire disgusting disgrace on itself precisely because it is corrupt to its very core.

How dare Infantino attempt to dress it all up in any other way and how dare he jab a finger of blame at anyone who feels remotely queasy at the grotesqueness of what we are being force fed in the name of the game we treasure so deeply?