The changing room was erupting with jubilation. But his mind was elsewhere.
It was May 22, 2022 and United Counties League side Newport Pagnell Town had just beaten LittlehamptonTown 3-0 to win the FA Vase at Wembley. In front of 15,000 fans, and thousands more watching on TV, that sunny afternoon under the world’s most famous arch should have been the best day of Burnside’s life.
Instead, it was one of the saddest.
The celebrations continued into the night but Burnside was nowhere to be seen. He spent the evening alone and, in the morning, checked himself into a psychiatric hospital.
“I needed an intervention,” says the 31-year-old striker. “I was at the peak of my career and lowest point in my life.”
Two years on, Burnside can recall very little from that day. A combination of depression, drug and alcohol addiction, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and ADHD had by that point left his life at crisis point.
Two weeks before the final, he made what he describes as a semi-serious suicide attempt.
“Voices in my head were telling me I was a cancer and I would infiltrate people’s goodness,” he says.
“It was a cry for help – I don’t think I wanted to die. I just wanted to show people how bad things were.”
The worst, however, was still to come. After spending five weeks at a London Priory facility, Burnside’s 11-year relationship with his partner fell apart.
They had been married just over a year and the divorce sent him spiralling. Burnside admits that in the weeks following the separation he would drive on the wrong side of the road and run red lights hoping to crash.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 05, 2024-Ausgabe von The Non-League Football Paper.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der May 05, 2024-Ausgabe von The Non-League Football Paper.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
'UNKNOWN' IRON SEEK TO SHOCK...
AMBITIOUS Braintree chairman Lee Harding says the Iron will be gunning for the play-offs on their return to the National League.
CABLES HAVE THE POWER!
Daley's proud of Prescot heroes...
WE'VE GOT ONE EQ OF A FUTURE
A NTONIO VALENCIA, Moises Caicedo, Pervis Estupinan, Jeremy Sarmiento. Sound familiar? Before too long you might need to add two more Ecuadorians to that elite Premier League list.
ANDY'S HANDS ON FOR EARLS
FROM coordinating press conferences for Gareth Southgate and Harry Kane to organising matchday operations in the Midland League, Andy Walker expertly fulfils a varied football lifestyle.
Icon Dave has lived his dream
SHOLING icon Dave Diaper capped off a remarkable 25 years in charge of the club by being awarded The Non-League Paper Lifetime Achievement Award at The Non-League Paper’s National Game Awards in association with Isuzu.
Stones proud of FA Cup legacy NON-LE
AFTER an underdog run that stole the hearts of the nation, there was never going to be any other team than Maidstone United for the FA Cup Run of the Year award.
Taylor is too hot to handle!
RAMSGATE marksman Joe Taylor revealed greater dedication to his goalscoring craft is the secret behind his stunning 53 goals last season.
Cook's class an in-Spiration
ADAM VIRGO believes Chesterfield have said goodbye to Non-League football for a long time after romping to the National League title.
Tim's a titan of Non-Leaque
NON-LEAGUE legend Tim Fuell was taken aback when he was surprised with the Isuzu Unsung Hero award.
Robins gem Conn-Clarke shines bright
ALTRINCHAM starlet Chris Conn-Clarke is keeping his feet on the ground despite a stellar season that saw him named the Sportsbeat Young Player of the Season at The NonLeague Paper’s annual National Game Awards, in association with Isuzu.