My son is autistic, creative and confident

British High Commissioner on raising a child with autism

- ALEX ELLIS

Wherever I have lived in the world, I have always talked about autism, and about Tomas. One, because it is true our son Tomas is autistic, and two, to get beyond the fear. You have to show to people that it is okay. It is a bit scary—a diagnosis like that— but there is nothing to be scared of.

Tomas was born in 1997. We had always thought there was something unusual and slightly different about our son. He was delayed in speech, which is where we thought there might be something going on. We spoke two languages—Portuguese (my wife is Portuguese) and English. And, he did not speak very much till he was about three. [We] saw a speech therapist, who said, ‘switch to one language, so that he [speaks] quickly’. Then we moved to Brussels. To be honest, he was okay in school before that, but the European school he went to said, ‘We can’t educate him’. This was the first time we had the school saying this. He was seven. Then he was diagnosed [with autism] in February 2005. It does not come as a bolt from the blue. Nevertheless, it is quite a shock when it happens. The next thing I thought was, he is no different from [how] he was the day before; it is not like he has a disease. It is just that that is the way his brain is wired. It is a diagnosis, but it is not a change in him at all.