<div style="page-break-before: always; page-break-after: always;">
SEX with me is like a trip to Epcot Center: It sucks.&mdash;I.K. 
I&rsquo;M not saying men are desperate, but I once said &ldquo;I love the band Elton John&rdquo; on a date, and the man still slept with me. &mdash;Marcia Belsky 
I don&rsquo;t think of a man as an ally until he hands me his unlocked cell phone and walks out of the room.&mdash;Bri Pruett 
THE year is 2055. An elderly husband and wife are reading in bed. The wife turns to the husband and says, &ldquo;Kyle, I want you to fuck me like you fucked me on our wedding night.&rdquo;
<img src="https://cdn.magzter.com/1549347582/1662540473/articles/vPsYM33L31663166351910/6656311536.jpg">
The husband puts his book down. &ldquo;Honey, I&rsquo;d love to,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;but I simply don&rsquo;t have $80,000 worth of student debt for you to absorb anymore.&rdquo;&mdash;I.K.
<div style="page-break-before: always; page-break-after: always;">
THREESOMES sound like a great idea, but so does a boxing league of kangaroos.&mdash; Amy Silverberg 
POLYAMORY is a lot like a graduate program: full of vegan parents scheduling things.&mdash;B.P. 
A taco salad is the perfect food for making people think you&rsquo;re eating healthy: Salad is right there in the name, but it&rsquo;s actually just the biggest possible taco.&mdash;I.K. 
I once dated a girl whose dog Rufus would watch us having sex. Then I found and destroyed his webcam, and that was that.&mdash;I.K.
<img src="https://cdn.magzter.com/1549347582/1662540473/articles/vPsYM33L31663166351910/2365122561.jpg">
HAVING sex in your 30s is like being a urologist: Mostly you&rsquo;re just telling men their dicks are fine.&mdash;B.P.
A girl once told me she wanted to fuck like we were in a porno, so I arranged for my dad to marry her.&mdash;I.K. 
OUR Unabashed Dictionary now includes the following variations on the term sexting.&hellip;
Flexting: Sexy texting at the gym.
Brexting: Sexy texting while legally separating from the European Union.
Tex-mexting: Sexy texting with Bobby Flay.
BDSMS: Sexy texting while wearing a latex hood, and also your 4G went out.&mdash; I.K.
</div>
</div>

PLAYBOY'S party jokes

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is the World's largest and fastest growing self-service, cross-platform digital newsstand with over 87 million users since its inception in 2011 and thousands of magazines and newspapers across 40+ categories and 60+ languages. Headquartered in New York, Magzter has its local presence in Amsterdam, London, Mexico City, Chennai, Mumbai, New Delhi, Bengaluru, Singapore, and will soon be expanding to other countries. Founded by global entrepreneurs, Girish Ramdas and Vijay Radhakrishnan in June 2011, Magzter enables magazine and newspaper publishers around the world to create and deliver digital editions of their titles to global consumers.

n. We will also use usage information in order to ensure users adhere to our Terms of Use. For example, a user’s usage information will help us confirm that a user only downloads a magazine or other content a permitted number of times or to a permitted number of devices.

which gives digital readers unlimited access to 8,500+ magazines and newspapers for a monthly subscription price. Magzter also has the largest number of stories in the world with its game-changing ezRead 2.0 feature for its apps, which enables smartphone and small-screen mobile users to enjoy magazine content the way it was meant to be enjoyed, with article text that is easy to read and is accompanied by stunning videos and high resolution photography.

{{magzter}} is the World's largest and fastest growing self-service, cross-platform digital newsstand with over 87 million users since its inception in 2011 and thousands of magazines and newspapers across 40+ categories and 60+ languages. Headquartered in New York, Magzter has its local presence in Amsterdam, London, Mexico City, Chennai, Mumbai, New Delhi, Bengaluru, Singapore, and will soon be expanding to other countries. Founded by global entrepreneurs, Girish Ramdas and Vijay Radhakrishnan in June 2011, Magzter enables magazine and newspaper publishers around the world to create and deliver digital editions of their titles to global consumers.