I’m curious and determined to make the best of life, but I’m not the bravest person in my friendship group. Lately, in the midst of middle age, it has dawned on me – change and I are uneasy bedfellows.
In truth, I’m distrustful of – even superstitious about – change, and this has infiltrated most decisions I make, both big and small. BIG: It took seven years of careful consideration, spreadsheets and sleepless nights to move to a different city (just 80 km away and inhabited by friends). SMALL: My daily habits are so set in stone that I bore myself (same morning coffee, same jogging route, same lunch at the same cafe). But do I try something new? Nope. And if, for some reason, I have to alter my routine, my anxiety goes into overdrive. How did I become so change-averse?
One explanation is ‘better the devil you know’. Fear thrives on uncertain outcomes, after all. For instance, I work on an uncomfortable chair that hurts my back – changing it might make my back worse, but it could also make it better. More concerning are unhealthy relationships I hold on to, so as not to cause upset; or experiences I reject in case they disrupt my carefully curated life. Ironically, as I’ve become more comfortable and settled, rather than using this stability as a springboard to a more stimulating life, I’m more fearful than ever. Change can be inspiring and insightful. It enables us to adapt, learn and evolve, and it keeps boredom at bay. So why is it so damned scary?
This story is from the Woman&Home; August 2023 edition of woman & home South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the Woman&Home; August 2023 edition of woman & home South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Till death do us part
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages, said Nietzsche. He may be on to something, says Lorraine Kearney
Hit the ROAD
Ensure your vehicle is as ready as you are for your long-awaited summer road trip
Make a meal of it
There are two basic rules when it comes to wine and food pairing: acidic wine with acidic food, and low acid wine with savoury food, Lorraine Kearney learns
Update your GARDEN
Now's the time to refresh your outdoor space
the art of INTERIORS
Colour and texture are the stars of this apartment, writes MARGARET RAFFERTY
FALLING OFF THE DIET WAGON isn't a disaster
Changing your mindset is key when it comes to smashing your health and fitness goals, says Annie Deadman. Already let things slip? It's not over yet
LIFE after BETRAYAL
Broken trust can take on many forms, but there's always one common denominator - a feeling of hurt that can last for decades
The Ties That Bind
We're all humans, which means we all need relationships to survive. stands to reason that good relationships are the best kind to have. There are ways to get there, says Lorraine Kearney
A beauty REVELATION
The self-care sanctuary Nylde Hoffman and Riëtte Lategan introduced to Stellenbosch has become a sought-after location. We spoke to them about how clients and staff are equally important in their success
Love me, LOVE MY MONEY
Married people are generally wealthier than their single counterparts. But finding peace with your partner when it comes to finances can be a tall order