WHILE POLITELY MAKING small talk at a | regretting both my party dress and baby shower, my day was ruined in one fell swoop. "Ooh, are you expecting?!" asked a family friend, eyeballing my body up and down. I sheepishly shook my head, instantly my ample plate of mini-sandwiches. Then, just when I thought this conversation couldn't get worse, it did: "Well," she asked earnestly, "why not?"
Reasons and retorts flooded my mind-deep rooted doubts about my maternal capabilities, fear of climate change, "just fat, thanks" or perhaps a well chosen expletive. Instead, I murmured something about being busy at work and excused myself to mope for the rest of the afternoon.
I've since recovered emotionally, though I sometimes daydream of a do-over. What should I have said to such a nosy question from such a rude person? And how about all those other, um, challenging personalities we have to converse with whether we want to or not? Just in time for the holidays, I asked experts about how to deal with the trickiest, tackiest, meanest and most maddening personalities with nary a single insult hurled.
THE COMPLAINER
You know the type: This restaurant is too expensive, the music is too loud, my burger is overdone and I can hardly taste it anyhow because I'm probably coming down with something. As Saturday Night Live's famous Debbie Downer sketch goes: Whaa, whaaaaa. But the Complainer in real life isn't so funny.
"This is a person who thinks life's unfair to them," says Jody Carrington, a psychologist and author of Feeling Seen: Reconnecting in a Disconnected World. Nobody's that bummed out by a burger; they're down about other, bigger things and are letting it out on specific, controllable things like what's on their plate, not to mention the unfortunate server who dared to deliver it.
This story is from the November 2023 edition of Reader's Digest US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the November 2023 edition of Reader's Digest US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
GOTCHA!
We asked for it: What's the best prank you ever pulled?
KITT THE COURAGEOUS K-9
Officer Bill Cushing needed a partner. His dog needed a purpose. Together, they rescued each other.
Let's Dance!
It's good for your body, soul and even your brain
DISASTER ON THE RIVER
Two canoeists struggle to keep themselves and their friendship-afloat
WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THE STUFF WE RETURN
Think your rejects go back on the shelves? Think again.
Words to Live By
Poems offered me an anchor as I lost my son, so I shared them
LOST, FOUND, HOMEWARD BOUND
A collection of heart-thumping, tail-wagging, zoomies-inducing pet reunion tales
Paging Dr. AI
IF YOU'VE EVER Googled symptoms (and who hasn't?), you've probably scared yourself with a dire diagnosis, with no doctor there to vet the source and put the information in context. But we can't help ourselves. So can AI help?
The HEALTHY WELLNESS FROM THEHEALTHY.COM
A vaccine is finally on the way. In the meantime, here's how to protect yourself from ticks.
How to Speak Like a Midwesterner
FROM THE BOOK A GUIDE TO MIDWESTERN CONVERSATION