When I watch TV, I prefer to have the adverts muted. The lights in my home must give off a soft buttery glow, not the sterile, white glare of other bulbs, or else I just can't relax. I can write perfectly well to the thrash of a double-bass drum pumping through my headphones, but the incessant flutter of a pen being clicked will completely undo me. People can be tricky for me, too, because I am more porous than average; there are those I cannot stand to be around because their energy seeps in, recalibrating my emotions for the worse and others whose connection I crave because they fill me up with so much light.
I just have high levels of empathy, I tell myself.
I'm very particular when it comes to my home and my clothes - but aren't we all? I'm just so used to working on my own, that's why I really feel it when I'm around others, you know? Anything but admit to myself that the characteristics I've shared here (and many more!) point firmly to my being a highly sensitive person. So, why have I struggled for so long to come to terms with this? Frankly, it's because we make a values-based judgment on traits such as sensitivity, deeming it to be a weakness a hindrance that we must strive to overcome. But what if we have this all wrong? As uncomfortable as it may be at times, what if our sensitivity is, in fact, a strength?
This story is from the September 2024 edition of Psychologies UK.
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This story is from the September 2024 edition of Psychologies UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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Why Are We So Sensitive About Being Sensitive? - Feeling empathy, energy and emotion keenly is not a failing - it can be your strength and your superpower, discovers Yasmina Floyer
All of us are sensitive - it is the very nature of being human. However, as with most behavioural characteristics, it exists on a scale. Jenn Granneman, founder of the world's largest community for introverts and co-author, along with Andre Sólo, of Sensitive (Penguin, £10.99), tells me about the characteristics of someone who is highly sensitive: 'Simply put, if you're a highly sensitive person, your body and mind respond more to the world around you. You respond more to heartbreak, pain, and loss - but you also respond more to beauty, new ideas, and joy. You're more affected by everything around you, but you also draw more from these experiences.
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The more we care about others, the more we realise that most people are just like us - trying to figure things out and hoping for a good day. It's easier to fear what you don't know, but once you get to know people, the world seems a lot smaller and cosier. So next time you're tempted to scroll past someone's problem, dismiss someone's feelings, or just be in your own little bubble, remember: the world's a better place when we all give a little f*ck. Let's sprinkle that stuff everywhere like it's magical kindness glitter!
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