WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?
Psychologies UK|October 2022
Identifying the source of what’s stopping us from being more self-confident can help us move through it and beyond it
WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?

SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS

Self-limiting beliefs are when we tell ourselves we aren’t good at something – public speaking, for example. Holding these beliefs ‘can be self-preservation; a fear that others would laugh at you or think you weren’t capable enough,’ says psychologist Dr Marianne Trent.

‘We have to consider whether the consequences we’re imagining are logical or likely, and whether the payoffs might actually outweigh some of those negatives,’ Dr Trent explains.

Chances are, you’re inflating the threat in your mind. It links back, too, to the idea of low self-confidence being cyclical: we tell ourselves we can’t do something, so we don’t do it, even though we probably could.

Dr Trent recommends that whenever we are faced with a new situation, we notice what our primary thoughts are. Are they positive – that you’re going to smash this interview, or have a lovely time with this friend – or are they more negative?

‘Tune into the thoughts, feelings, ideas, and bodily sensations you get when you have new opportunities or ideas,’ Dr Trent says. Are you telling yourself you’re not capable of something, or sensing a resistance inside yourself? This can help you identify whether self-limiting beliefs are affecting your confidence levels.

Perfectionism

‘Perfectionism can be born of a desire for other people not to criticise us, and to feel like we are good enough to do whatever we’re doing,’ Dr Trent explains. ‘But we have to remember that done is better than perfect but incomplete.’

This story is from the October 2022 edition of Psychologies UK.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the October 2022 edition of Psychologies UK.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM PSYCHOLOGIES UKView All
"Imposter syndrome is super healthy"
Psychologies UK

"Imposter syndrome is super healthy"

Television and radio presenter Claudia Winkleman talks to Psychologies about taking wellness seriously in her 50s, the power of a good nap, and why she’ll never wear a sports bra

time-read
4 mins  |
Christmas 2023
Anna Williamson - A date with destiny
Psychologies UK

Anna Williamson - A date with destiny

Top of the month to you, dear readers! As we ease into the autumn months, many of us looking for love find ourselves dusting off the lazy summer vibes and embracing the opportunity that the colder months can bring. The latter part of the year is always fuelled with a fizz of anticipation, with the changing seasons, cosy evenings drawing in, and impending festivities. It can be the perfect time to ignite the passion for getting out and about and meeting people, in the hope of having fun and finding love.

time-read
3 mins  |
November 2023
How to be happier
Psychologies UK

How to be happier

Emma Hepburn, aka The Psychology Mum, shares how to bring more bliss into your life

time-read
2 mins  |
Christmas 2023
SING FOR YOUR LIFE! SOMEWHERE IN MY MEMORY...
Psychologies UK

SING FOR YOUR LIFE! SOMEWHERE IN MY MEMORY...

In this month's column, musician James Sills explores the songs we sing at Christmas, and how they help us to connect with our past and present

time-read
2 mins  |
Christmas 2023
'Twas the night before Christmas...
Psychologies UK

'Twas the night before Christmas...

Whether or not you choose to buy into the Santa myth, we can all believe in the positive messaging the man in red has come to represent, discovers Yasmina Floyer

time-read
4 mins  |
Christmas 2023
Winter Walks
Psychologies UK

Winter Walks

Savour this season of solitude and stillness, and take a mindful moment, says Yasmina Floyer

time-read
5 mins  |
Christmas 2023
Bit of a stretch EXCUSES, EXCUSES
Psychologies UK

Bit of a stretch EXCUSES, EXCUSES

Hollywood child actress Rachel Hurd-Wood swapped the red carpet for a yoga mat in her new life as a Pilates teacher and mum of two

time-read
2 mins  |
Christmas 2023
Anna Williamson Pass the mistletoe!
Psychologies UK

Anna Williamson Pass the mistletoe!

The smell of cinnamon, tinsel, and panic is in the air! Every year, Christmas seems to descend upon us with as much urgency and pressure as poor ol' Santa himself must feel every 24 December. And whether you are in a relationship, or you are wishing you were, Christmas is undoubtedly a particularly testing time for our love lives.

time-read
3 mins  |
Christmas 2023
Tackling Christmas CONFLICT
Psychologies UK

Tackling Christmas CONFLICT

In the season of peace and goodwill to all, bring back the balance and learn to look after yourself as well as others

time-read
5 mins  |
Christmas 2023
A new kind of Christmas
Psychologies UK

A new kind of Christmas

If 'Embracing Christmas 2.0' has struck a chord with you, discover how author Veronica Henry created her own new-look Christmas...

time-read
3 mins  |
Christmas 2023