Redefining Failure
Women's Health South Africa|March - April 2023
Unhappy with an aspect of your life yet feel as if you really *shouldn't* be bummed about it? Let's explore and resolve this current Catch-22.
MAGGIE SLEPIAN 
Redefining Failure

Last summer, I returned from an 800km backpacking trip. It was my longest solo trip to date. After, I felt strong. capable and independent. But those feelings of self-sufficiency and accomplishment became background noise as I stared at myself in the mirror, in awe of what 23 days of intense physical output had done to my body.

My legs were toned, my abs were defined, and I was as lean as I'd ever been. Yet even as I was (finally) proud of my appearance, I berated myself, thinking: Why do you care? You were strong before this trip; why does this matter so much? I knew, deep down, that my actual accomplishments were more important than how I looked but I was unable to separate the two.

Unfortunately, I'm not alone in my subconscious tendency to favour style over substance. For instance, the top-valued trait Americans look for in women is physical attractiveness, according to a 2017 report from the Pew Research Centre. (Pretty sure SA would be the same.) Toward the very bottom of the responses? Independence and strength.

Compare that with the top-valued trait for men, which was honesty/ morality. And in the six years since this study, it seems like the needle has hardly moved. In fact, if the popularity of image-altering apps like Face tune (reportedly downloaded over 30 million times in 2021) and endless filters is any indication, this gendered data is as relevant as ever - perhaps even more so.

This story is from the March - April 2023 edition of Women's Health South Africa.

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This story is from the March - April 2023 edition of Women's Health South Africa.

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