The day Katie Christianson, 53, and her husband were told that he had cancer was a blur.
It wasn't until nighttime, after he had gone to sleep, that the shock of the news gave way to feelings of fear and dread for her. Suddenly she couldn't breathe, her heart raced, and she heard her pulse thundering in her ears. Then there was an unbearable heaviness upon her, most excruciating in her chest. "It felt like a sensation of waves crushing me, and like a knot wired under my rib cage created a pain so tense and so tight," she says.
Christianson knew what was happening: It was a panic attack, something she'd experienced countless times since her 20s. But knowing that didn't necessarily mean she could stop it. "It just feels so heavy, like my bones aren't strong enough to hold up my body, like suddenly I have just increased in density molecularly," she says.
That night, Christianson closed the bathroom door so as not to wake her husband. Then, she says, she ripped off her clothes "because it felt like I was coming out of my skin" and stood under the hot shower spray while she sobbed and tried to catch her breath. "I bent over with my hands on my knees, hoping that would make it easier, and when it didn't, I just curled up on the shower stall floor in a ball, the water beating on my back." She's not sure how many minutes this panic attack lasted: "I only know that I ran out of hot water."
A HYPERACTIVE ALARM SYSTEM
This story is from the October 2023 edition of Prevention US.
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This story is from the October 2023 edition of Prevention US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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