Maybe they were your very first crush. Maybe they're dating someone else in your squad. Maybe it's a situationship that never seems to end. Maybe you gave it a shot and got rejected. Maybe they're your best friend...who's made it clear they only like you as, well, a friend.
Whoever they are, it's evident that an *actual* relationship is unattainable and it's time to get over it. Just one small problem: You simply can't.
"I knew early on things were never going to happen with my crush, given that he had a girlfriend and lived in a different town," admits Annie D., 14.
But the obvious obstacles didn't stop her brain from obsessing. "Because I built him up in my head, thought about him constantly and compared him to every other potential crush, it was impossible to let go."
Turns out there are scientific reasons why it's so hard to move on. Studies show that it takes longer to get over our "first love" than it does any other relationship. And according to Texas-based therapist Dr. Amy Rollo, we have chemical changes in our brain to thank.
"First crushes create major changes in neurotransmitters like oxytocin and dopamine, releasing feel-good hormones that make you want to hold onto those feelings and keep crushing," Dr. Rollo explains. She adds a note of caution: "Don't let that chemical process fool you into thinking this person is the only right person."
So how do you spot a crush that's going nowhere...and how do you find the fuel to put an end to your feelings? We asked the experts (and GL girls who have been there) for their best advice on creating closure and forging a path forward.
IS IT TIME?
This story is from the October/November 2022 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
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This story is from the October/November 2022 edition of Girls' Life magazine.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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