My mind was racing as I jogged to a pharmacy in the Balinese village where I'd spent the past month surfing, studying yoga, and filing stories as a travel writer. I was 29 years old and in the best health of my life-peak fitness, a decent diet, and zero medications. Yet something very vital had gone missing: my period.
I left the drugstore with three pregnancy tests, as one does, and the nearly overwhelming fear of getting a positive result. For my entire adult life, I'd been adamant that I never wanted kids. My pilot husband and I had spent the seven years of our marriage actively trying not to get pregnant as we enjoyed the freedom of a dual-income-no-kids lifestyle. "Uncle Mark and Aunt Kristy forever!" we proclaimed as we moved to Europe, explored Asia by tuk-tuk, and booked last-minute trips to beachy destinations.
We both loved children we just didn't feel the need to create any of our own. Pressure from family or friends to procreate would evaporate as we listened to them also complain of sleepless nights and canceled vacations. Yet here I was, hovering over a toilet, nervously anticipating two telltale pink lines. Except just like my period that month, they never showed.
This story is from the Issue 07, 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan US.
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This story is from the Issue 07, 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan US.
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