Does Your Love Need A Label?
Cosmopolitan India|July - August 2022
Lesbian, gay, bisexual...in an era when celebrities and everyday people are proudly declaring their sexual fluidity, do we still need orientation labels? Author and poet Michelle Tea explores how we got to this new frontier of sexual identity and where we go from here.
Owen Gildersleeve 
Does Your Love Need A Label?

In my early 20s, in the candlelight of a Back Bay apartment [in Boston, USA], I kissed a girl. It was immediately my favourite thing to do. I wanted my boyfriend to go away forever. Oh my God, I am a lesbian! I thought. As Jessica became my first girl, my boyfriend became, for quite some time, my last boy. Sex with him had always felt blatant and pre-configured. The sex I entered into with Jessica was a dark forest, a fairy tale you get lost in. I realised that with men, a part of my heart was on high-alert, always. With my boyfriend, some essential part of myself was not at play in the sex we'd had. Yet within moments, Jessica, this stranger, had access to it all. I was whole.

I wanted to build my life around this experience, and I did. Revising my hetero history, I decided the eyeliner- wearing goth boys I pursued in high school were simply the closest I could come at the time to a girl. I got rid of my thrift-store lace dresses and popped on a baseball cap with dyke emblazoned above the brim. I shaved my head. There I was a dyke, I had always been a dyke, and I would always be a dyke. Now, buzz off!

Coming out in the early '90s, at a time when the fight for gay rights was gaining ground, a solid, even confrontational sexual identity was demanded (we were born this way, dammit!). Anything less was seen as wishy-washy, smacking of internalised homophobia. For gay women, an interest in men marked one as a traitor to queerness and feminism. People who identified as bisexual were schemers looking to keep one foot in the world of heterosexual privilege. As for those who opted out of a sexual identity, well, they were quite possibly insane.

This story is from the July - August 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan India.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the July - August 2022 edition of Cosmopolitan India.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM COSMOPOLITAN INDIAView All
The Hunger Games
Cosmopolitan India

The Hunger Games

Cosmo India intern Muskan Sehgal shares her experience of trying out intuitive eating for a week.

time-read
3 mins  |
January - February 2024
Are We Killing Our Hair With Kindness?
Cosmopolitan India

Are We Killing Our Hair With Kindness?

While scalp and haircare boom, we ask it a simple, stripped-back routine is actually better for your locks.

time-read
2 mins  |
January - February 2024
Can You (Ever) Date A Friend's Ex?
Cosmopolitan India

Can You (Ever) Date A Friend's Ex?

In a world of infinite choice and access, is it ever okay to push past the velvet rope into the hallowed territory all women hold as sacred?

time-read
5 mins  |
January - February 2024
Is A 'Sunshine Folder' The Key To My Impostor Syndrome?
Cosmopolitan India

Is A 'Sunshine Folder' The Key To My Impostor Syndrome?

Sometimes, we just need a little reminder that we are, in fact, not totally shit at our jobs.

time-read
2 mins  |
January - February 2024
What, Really, Are The Rules Of Love?
Cosmopolitan India

What, Really, Are The Rules Of Love?

Shenaz Treasury's latest creative effort, All He Left Me Was A Recipe, is an ode to all the men she's dated, with just that zesty, unputdownable flair of fiction.

time-read
7 mins  |
January - February 2024
The AI Download You've Been Waiting For In 2024
Cosmopolitan India

The AI Download You've Been Waiting For In 2024

This year will start defining how humans and Artificial Intelligence live with each other.

time-read
3 mins  |
January - February 2024
The anatomy of a celebrity break-up
Cosmopolitan India

The anatomy of a celebrity break-up

Celebrity divorce lawyers have been busy... it feels like there's a new break-up hitting our news feeds every week. But as we all become more savvy to the inner workings of the A-list PR machine, how do the insiders keep reputations firmly intact?

time-read
10+ mins  |
January - February 2024
It's time to update your monthly watchlist...
Cosmopolitan India

It's time to update your monthly watchlist...

...from power-packed action thrillers to renewed seasons of your favourite OTT shows, here is the perfect list of latest releases to keep you entertained.

time-read
1 min  |
January - February 2024
Shooting for the stars ft.Elnaaz Norouzi
Cosmopolitan India

Shooting for the stars ft.Elnaaz Norouzi

Iranian-German model-turned-actor, who is known for her acting chops in Sacred Games and Made in Heaven S2, and singer on beating the odds, breaking into Bollywood, and staying true to herself.

time-read
4 mins  |
January - February 2024
Are We All In The Same Weirdly Devastating Three-Month Situationship?
Cosmopolitan India

Are We All In The Same Weirdly Devastating Three-Month Situationship?

Turns out, everybody goes through-er, grows through?—this kind of thing.

time-read
3 mins  |
November - December 2023