IT LIES quietly in wait for its prey, possessing the patience of a puff adder, the sinister calm of a crocodile and the have-I-got-a-surprise-for-you innocence of a hippo.
Stealthy, uncompromising, unforgiving: there are many ways to describe this beast that traps the unsuspecting. It's become almost as commonplace as a rat or a pigeon and it's spawned many a meme and a joke - because if there's one thing South Africans know how to do it's to make light of a problem.
And right now, leading the charge is comedian Themba Robin, who's turned the not-so-humble pothole into a skit so screamingly funny it's making waves around the world.
The 32-year-old Joburg funnyman recently posted a video on social media of himself doing a pitch-perfect David Attenborough impersonation, inspecting the potholes of his neighbourhood in Kya Sands, Joburg.
The opening shot is of a Volkswagen Polo driving through a muddy pothole at top speed. Then Themba appears, clad in khaki and sturdy hiking boots, welcoming the viewer to the "urban safari".
Slowly he walks, in true Attenborough style. He speaks clearly, his British accent clipped, his tone measured as befits a BBC nature documentary. Patiently he explains, giving us the scientific name of this all-too-prevalent predator: Replacis mytyresis every f*****g weekis.
"Extinct in the Western Cape, the South African pothole is far superior to other species found elsewhere in the world," he says.
"It has two secret weapons. It has learnt to take advantage of a crumbling infrastructure and lazy repair work. This, coupled with the fact that it's asexual, means a single pothole can reproduce faster than two horny rabbits in a field full of horny rabbits.
"With no natural predators, a strong, independent pothole like this is free to prey on small to medium-sized vehicles such as the i20, Fiestas and Polos with their springs cut."
This story is from the 16 March 2023 edition of YOU South Africa.
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This story is from the 16 March 2023 edition of YOU South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
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