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ANDREW SWEATS OVER SECRET EPSTEIN EMAILS!
Walls close in as FBI sniffs around prince's bond with perv

BICKERING OBAMAS DIVVY UP $70M SPOILS!
Secretly unravel vast empire while heading to divorce

CASH-POOR HUNTER GOES CRYING TO PAPA!
Blundering Biden's world collapses

DR.PHIL FLOUNDERS AS NETWORK TOPPLESS!
Bleeding cash, staff & purpose

ROGUE ASTEROID HEADED OUR WAY!
Scientists scramble to predict path before it can wipe out cities

UNHAPPY HODA HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS!
Misses fame fortune of Today throne

TRANS KILLER LOVES PRISON!
Free to wander in bra & panties

RUSSELL BRANDED!
Controversial podcaster flees to U.S. as claims of sexual assault pile up

JUDGE SLAPS DOWN HARVEY WHINE-STEIN!
CONVICTED rapist Harvey Weinstein is begging officials to move up his sex crimes trial date in New York because he fears he'll die in the city's notoriously dangerous Rikers Island lockup before he ever gets his day in court!

OLD TWEETS, NEW WOES FOR KARLA!
BIG-MOUTH trans actress Karla Sofía Gascón is desperately trying to walk back past racist and Islamophobic social media posts in hopes they won't derail her chances of winning a best actress Oscar for Emilia Pérez.

CAROLINE COMES OUT SWINGING!
Bashes cuz RFK Jr in bid to follow in JFK's footsteps

JITTERY JORDAN'S FULL COURT PRESS TO SALVAGE SON!
BASKETBALL big shot Michael Jordan is I reeling over the Florida arrest of his reality TV star son, Marcus who's accused of driving under the influence and cocaine possession - say sources, who dish the NBA legend is determined to save his wayward kid!

NBC CHUCKS TODD!
Humiliated journo tries to spin exit

HARRY BEGS MEGHAN TO STAND BY HER MAN!
Insecure il wants distracted luichess to repel flivorce rumors

BEYONCE'S SWEET REVENGE!
Cowboy Carter album kicks butt at Grammys

O.J. HOUSE CLEANING!
Estate sues to boot son from squatting

BODY-BARING CHER MADE MACKIE BLUSH!
MORTIFIED Bob Mackie admits he didn't always want credit for designing Cher's fashions because he was embarrassed by the superstar's skinbaring style!

WEED KILLER WHACKS BRAIN!
SCIENTISTS are raising the alarm that a common weed killer is linked to cognitive decline and Alzheimer's disease!

ANGIE'S OSCAR BLAME SNUB GAME!
Says Brad & Jen got H'wood to ice her out

MICHAEL MOVIE WHITEWASH SCANDAL
Jacksons accused of rewriting history!

WHAT KILLED ANNA INCOLE
Uncanny link to death of her idol Marilyn

CABBIE SLASHES SWIFTIE OVER MUSIC CHOICE!
A PASSENGER getting a rideshare lift home was viciously attacked by the driver just for requesting that he play some Taylor Swift music!

GOV'T UFO COVER-UP EXPOSED!
Whistleblower reveals secret program that harvests alien technology

OBAMA SPLIT FORCES A-LIST TO TAKE SIDES!
Pals prep for loyalty test

CARRIE'S FACE FAIL!
Overdone Underwood shocks worried fans

RIHANNA BANKROLLS BEAU AS ASAP HITS ROCKY TIMES!
Spends wildly to keep him out of jail

THE LAUGH'S ON MADONNA!
Dirty comedy routine takes a nosedive

THE SKINNY ON PAULA!
SCANDAL-SCARRED TV personality Paula Deen has dropped over 100 pounds after getting walloped with a life-threatening diabetes diagnosis, but friends fear the former kitchen queen may be pushing her rebound recipe too far! \"She looks sickly,\" declares one concerned pal.

KYLIE TARNISHING TIMOTHEE'S OSCAR!
Turning him too tacky for winning big awards

HASTA LA VISA! HARRY TEETERS ON EDGE OF EXILE
Immigration papers key to getting him deported for drugs