Emotional Intelligence
Woman's Era|October 2021
If you canʼt manage your emotions, then your emotions will manage your.
I.M. Soni
You may be highly sophisticated, academically high-profiled, and yet be emotionally unwise! Your emotional bank balance scratches the bottom of the barrel too often. You find yourself standing on the other side of the greenland of human relationships.

An important part of getting along with others is the ability to relate yourself to people. When you can identify with another person – that is, when you can put yourself in his shoes – you are able to relate to him. Relating to people simply means being able to understand and accept them even though they are different from you. The greater your ability to relate yourself to others, the more mature you are.

One thing which contributes to a strong friendship is the fact that the people involved are able to relate to each other. They are able to understand and meet each other’s needs. They enjoy giving as well as receiving. Many people can easily make friends, but too often their friendships are for personal gain and are short-lived. They are not mature enough to form permanent loyalties – friendships that are helpful in times of trouble. We all have met people who on first meeting seem to be interested in us; yet they let us down in a week or a month because they don’t have the ability to develop firm relationships.

The problem arises because there are people in it. What it means is that problems arise because people are not able to get along with other partners. Of course, this is simplifying the situation a little too much. There are times, when we all have difficulty getting along with others. But what about those who cannot find smooth sailing with anyone?

For this inability to get along with others, you have only to look at broken homes where parents can’t relate to their children or children to parents. About 75 per cent who are fired from their jobs get fired because they can’t get along with coworkers – not because they lack the skill to do the job.

You can find entire groups of people who are critical of other groups. Members of one political party sneer at members of another party. People in one economic or social group look down upon people in other economic or social group.

We are witnessing religious intolerance. We see labourmanagement intolerance also. All this boils down to the fact that a lot of people can’t get along with lot of other people. And often this is caused by a lack of emotional maturity among the people involved. Such people are emotionally unwise irrespective of their academic skill and qualification.

Getting along with people and building satisfying relationships depends on whether you really try to accept others by understanding them and their view points. It is not that hard to deal with people who are somewhat like you. It takes real hardwork when they are different, when they are difficult to understand, or when they are the kind of people who strain your nerves.

But here’s one point to keep in mind: You do not have to agree with others or even approve of some of their actions in order to respect them. What you do need to do is to identify with others – not for the sake of being like them – but in order to understand them.

There are certain characterstics traits that are essential to maturity. Without them, you cannot relate to the people in a consistent way. We absorb most of these traits from the people around us, particularly our parents – that is, if we are incky enough to have parents who have these traits themselves.

The most important indications of maturity are sincerity, a sense of responsibility, dependability, and integrity. We know that we can depend on a person who has these traits.

There are still other distinctive characteristics of maturity. Modesty and humility are two of these traits. When the mature person wins – a game, an advantage, a business title – it is with modesty; when he loses, he is still gracious toward the winner.

The person who gets along well with other people has the ability to accept criticism. In fact, he will actually welcome criticism that is justified. And he can take it even if it is not. That is hallmark of maturity.

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