'MICHAEL ACCEPTS ME FOR WHO I AM'
Helen Cooke, 53, lives in Windsor with her physiotherapist husband Michael and stepdaughter Rosie, 19.
I had surgery for a spinal tumour at just a few months old and have been a wheelchair user all my life. My parents encouraged me to be independent, and I grew up confident and resilient. But determined as I've been, I have experienced insecurities around dating. I remember watching friends meet their first boyfriends and thinking that might never happen for me.
More of a challenge
In my 20s I started meeting other people with spinal cord injuries and many of them were married or had partners, usually able-bodied. I began to think that maybe I had built this up into more of a problem than it really was. I stopped thinking it was unlikely that I'd ever meet anyone, and started thinking that it just might be slightly more of a challenge, but far from impossible.
I started internet dating in 2005 when it was still quite new. However, I didn't put that I was a wheelchair user on my profile because I was worried men might just screen me out straight away. I always told them before we met - and I did have a few online conversations that ended with them saying they didn't want to meet me any more, which was tough to deal with. Internet dating can be quite brutal - it's all about the visual.
For the next few years, I shifted my focus to work. In 2006, I set up MyPlus, now one of the UK's leading authorities in disability recruitment, which led to me being named one of the Shaw Trust's 100 most influential disabled people in the UK.
It was 2011 when I decided to give dating another go. I wanted someone genuine and kind, who would accept me for who I am. I matched with five people
This story is from the February 2024 edition of Woman & Home UK.
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This story is from the February 2024 edition of Woman & Home UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
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