Seeing my four-year-old daughter Piper play with her brother Parker, two, in the park, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride that I’m sure all dads experience at some point. For me, though, knowing the journey we’d been through to get them, I felt so lucky to be their father but even luckier that I got to share the title with their two other daddies - my partners.
Growing up, I always knew I was gay, and in 2003, I met Alan, then 26, after graduating from medical school in Boston, USA. Compatible on every level, we moved to California, combined our finances, and committed to each other for life. I knew I’d found my soulmate. But eight years into our relationship, I wondered what it would be like to meet someone else.
I was happy with Alan, and I had no intention of breaking up with him, but I was open to being in love with more than one person at the same time.
‘How would you feel about dating other people?’ I asked tentatively. Alan and I were secure in our relationship, he was open-minded, and I knew I could speak to him about anything. I explained that it didn’t change the way I felt about him, and if he had said no, I would’ve respected that.
Without making any commitments, he agreed to try speaking with other people and exploring the idea of a polyamorous relationship. We joined a dating website, and after a while, I got chatting to Jeremy, then 30. He was a zookeeper, and I enjoyed his intelligent, witty conversation.
I told Jeremy that Alan and I were already in a relationship, and in June 2012, the three of us met for dinner and drinks as friends, and we had so much fun together. ‘I like him a lot,’
Alan said. Alan and I were happy, but we were even happier with Jeremy around, and our relationship developed naturally.
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