Q Newly divorced, I’ve enjoyed dating and found a lovely man to spend time with. We’ve met every Saturday for ages now and had some great times together. We also have great sex, and have really built a strong relationship. Or so I thought. That’s because, last weekend, when I started to talk about the next steps in our commitment, he immediately backed off. He’s now saying that he’s always seen our meetings as ‘casual’ and was never interested in it becoming something ‘serious’. I’m absolutely devastated and don’t know what to do.
A Sadly, this is a misunderstanding. Because you met regularly and had sex together, you believed you and your friend were involved. Because you met only once a week, your friend believed you weren’t involved, even though you had sex together. There’s clearly no future here, so don’t hang on in hope but end things now. And in future, to avoid disappointment, swap notes with a sexual partner so you both agree on what’s happening between you. If you feel you need to talk directly to someone, then Relate (relate.org.uk) offers webcam, telephone and live chat services, 0300 0030 396.
What are my redundancy rights?
Q I’ve been on furlough for over a year now and I’m worried my boss is going to make me redundant. What will I get?
A Redundancy can be very distressing, emotionally and financially. Start by finding your contract, to see what it says about notice. By law, employers must give minimum notice periods or payment in lieu of notice. You can also take any holiday owed or claim holiday pay instead. If you have been working for the same firm for at least two years, you are entitled to statutory redundancy pay. The amount depends on your age, how many full years you have been employed and your normal salary (as opposed to furlough pay). It is capped at a maximum of £544 a week. Check at gov.uk/ calculate-your-redundancy-pay, although individual companies may be more generous. Redundancy pay up to £30,000 is tax-free, but any payment in lieu of notice or holiday pay will be taxed as normal. âœ± muchmorewithless.co.uk
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