There was nothing wrong with Candy on the day she died, nothing that we could see anyway. We were on holiday in Tunisia, and my little sister, nine years old to my 14, did the same things she’d done every other day of our trip – she floated in the pool wearing pink armbands and neon sunglasses, played with new friends, ate a Nutella pancake. But, all the while, she was harbouring a rare, airborne virus which was multiplying in her veins, attacking silently.
That night, she started coughing. Soon, she was fighting for breath, blood foaming at her lips. My dad held her and my mum came to fetch me from my hotel room next door. But I couldn’t do anything to help – none of us could. I watched in shock and terror as my baby sister slumped lifeless in my howling father’s arms.
Devastating loss
Candy’s death changed my life in so many ways. I remember lying in that hotel bedroom, sobbing, after my parents returned from the hospital and told me she was gone.
In that mad moment, the thing I was saddest about was the idea that my children wouldn’t have an auntie. The future I had been so certain of – the one in which I had a sister, and in which I was a sister – had been ripped away.
More than 30 years have elapsed since Candy’s death, yet it still reverberates in my memory and my body. At the start of the pandemic, as I read reports about people being unable to breathe, their lungs collapsing as they lay in hospital corridors, I felt my own chest tightening and my breath becoming short.
I didn’t know if this was a symptom of the virus or a panic attack of the sort I used to have at least once a week when I was a teenager, my hands and head going numb, my eyes popping from a lack of oxygen.
This story is from the August 24, 2020 edition of WOMAN - UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the August 24, 2020 edition of WOMAN - UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Fast&fresh DINNERS
Healthy meals to keep you satisfied on busy weeknights.
Health checks that could SAVE YOUR LIFE
We service our cars and boilers to make sure they run smoothly, so why not our bodies?
FEEL SEXIER in 60 seconds
Try these instant tricks to lift your libido and get turned on fast
Destination SWAPS
Change your favourite resorts for these great-value, lesser-known places
5 steps to the PERFECT HALLWAY
Try these makeover musts to transform the often-overlooked space into an entrance you can be proud of ai
The secrets WE KEEP
Two women explain why they realised it was finally time to speak up
Our split made us STRONGER!
Bernie Jones loves her husband more after their break-up 4
Can our beloved NHS BE SAVED?
With waiting lists for surgery reaching new highs, we investigate the lengths patients are going to in order to receive treatment
WANT TO SEE BEHIND THE CASTLE GATES?
It’s an interesting development that King Charles has increased public access to Buckingham Palace and opened up Balmoral Castle for the first time.
'The divorce SPEAKS FOR ITSELF"
Singer-turned-actor Billie Piper on her turbulent past and becoming the woman she is today