Each time I gazed down at my ever-growing bump, my thoughts excitedly turned to the future. I loved speculating if my baby would have my dark-brown eyes and my partner Damon’s fair hair. I imagined the moment he or she would say their first word, and what that would be. And I vividly pictured the moment I’d hold my arms out to help with their first steps. But just before I gave birth in July 2019, a shock diagnosis changed everything and my excitement was quickly superseded by sorrow and the fear that I’d never get to experience any of those things I’d been imagining.
Damon and I had been friends since primary school, but it wasn’t until 2018, when he was 30 and I was 31, that we finally crossed the line and started dating.
Charming, funny and incredibly driven, he was everything I was looking for in a partner, and it wasn’t long before talk turned to our mutual desire for marriage and children.
I’d worked hard over the years to build a successful career in public relations, even launching my own media business in 2017. Yet, despite it all, I knew that the only job I ever really wanted in life was to be a mum. And when I saw a positive result on a pregnancy test in November 2018, I was thrilled.
It was quickly followed by more good news when Damon proposed that Christmas, and all at once it felt like my dreams were coming true.
After routine scans showed nothing out of the ordinary, Damon and I allowed ourselves to get caught up in our own little pregnancy bubble. Leaving the gender a surprise, we set about painting the nursery a neutral beige, bought unisex sleepsuits and talked about names.
But our excitement was soon dampened when a seemingly innocent lump that I’d noticed on my right breast earlier that summer, and had put down as fibrous tissue, appeared to have grown bigger.
Continue reading your story on the app
Continue reading your story in the magazine
Don't judge me for CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND
One woman reveals why she has no regrets about having an eight-year affair
The truth about raising MIXED-RACE CHILDREN
Wendy Gregory explains the racism her daughters have experienced over the years
Have you got post-pandemic ENVY?
As we emerge from lockdown and start to see our friends and family again, the gap between some of us appears much wider
‘How could Jamie HURT ME LIKE THIS?'
After years of craving a daughter, Louise is struggling as her ex looks forward to a baby with his new girlfriend
‘I'd find being Queen VERY IMPRISONING'
Dame Helen Mirren reveals her opinion of Queen Elizabeth II and why she will always have respect for the British monarchy
Could Your Marriage Survive Separate Bedrooms?
With more couples opting to sleep separately, Clare O’Reilly reveals how a sleep divorce changed her relationship forever
‘DEVASTATED is not a strong enough word'
Louise has been left heartbroken by Jamie’s baby news – and friends say that it came as a complete shock to her
The picture that means SO MUCH
Kalvinder Osahan’s first photo of her baby boy, Roop, was also the last
DON'T TELL ME I CAN'T… ...travel solo
Carolyn Pearson has learnt that seeing a sunset on your own doesn’t make it any less beautiful
‘I'M BACK for another shot at fame!'
Actor Leslie Ash reveals why she waited so long to return to our screens
Get to Know Mareya
We sat down with this 25-year food-industry veteran and the entrepreneur behind natural produce-cleaning product line eat cleaner to find out just how she does it all.
Interview – Damon Johnson
On the hard-rocking battle lessons, the former Black Star Riders/Alice Cooper/Thin Lizzy guitarist establishes himself as a force of one
Don't Boost Your Immune System, Balance It!
Instead of “boosting” your immune function, which is not always a good thing, focus on fine-tuning your body for optimal immune health.
A sign of God’s protection right when she needed it
WOUNDS AND THE WOMB
JULIE PETERS explores how to heal a relationship with the sacred womb, a place of death, life, and possibilities.
More uses for new mRNA technology
HOW NATUROPATHIC DOCTORS TREAT TOXIN EXPOSURE
IF YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT STARTING A DETOX REGIMEN, IT PAYS TO CONSULT AN EXPERT FIRST.
Does This DOG Know Whether You Have CANCER?
The canine nose is a marvel of nature. Science believes that a computerized model will save millions of lives.
IN SEASON Chickpeas (GARBANZO BEANS)
Chickpeas appear in early recordings in Turkey well over 5000 years ago. India produces the most chickpeas worldwide but they are grown in more than 50 countries. An excellent source of carbohydrates, protein, fiber, B vitamins, and some minerals, they are a nutritious staple of many diets. The name chickpea comes from the Latin word cancer, referring to the plant family of legumes, Fabaceae. It is also known by its popular Spanish-derived name, the garbanzo bean. Kidney beans, black beans, lima beans, and peanuts are other familiar foods found in this legume family.
8 SUPERSMART SUPERFOODS Your Kids Will Love
Having trouble getting your kids to eat healthily? When you package these superfood hits into your kid’s menu you can be sure you are giving them the nutrients they need and show them great nutrition is just around the corner!