Caitlin Cady Shares Her Journey
NEXT|April 2020
Caitlin Cady always liked being in control, so the thought of meditating scared her. But once she sat down and let her thoughts leave her mind, it proved to be incredibly important to her health. She shares her journey
Caitlin Cady
Caitlin Cady Shares Her Journey

Like many of us, Caitlin Cady tried and fell off the meditation wagon several times before it clicked for her, but she says that once it did, it was utterly and profoundly life changing. In this edited extract from her new book Heavily Meditated, she shares how she learned to let go, what it’s done for her, and easy techniques to make it part of your own daily routine.

KEEPING CONTROL

Terrified of meditating? I know, sounds ridiculous. Like being afraid of a kitten. But on a fundamental, subconscious level, I was absolutely petrified of taking my foot off the gas and loosening my grip on the steering wheel. I was afraid that if I let my guard down, my life would fall to pieces.

I was quite sure that if I slowed my roll, even for a moment, I’d lose my job, my friends and my boyfriend in quick succession. I’d balloon up to 200kg and spend my days lolling about in a muumuu (and not a cute retro one, either). Without a job you can forget paying rent, much less a mortgage, so I’d probably have to live in a cardboard box. I’d never reach my full potential. Meditation symbolised relaxing and letting go. And therefore, meditation symbolised a loss of control and all the terrifyingly bad things that would come with that. Without all that doing and achieving, who would I be? That was a scary thought. So my mind threw up a million and one reasons why I couldn’t and shouldn’t meditate. The resistance was strong.

PARTING WITH PERFECTION

But here’s the thing about resistance: it tells you that it’s keeping you safe, but it’s really keeping you small. Resistance stands in the way of your growth, your expansion, the actualisation of your full potential. And ultimately, you have to make a choice between believing the resistance or breaking through it and stepping into your potential.

This story is from the April 2020 edition of NEXT.

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This story is from the April 2020 edition of NEXT.

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