Never Had Sex But Trying For A Baby
Marie Claire South Africa|December 2018

For this 40-something-year-old, becoming a mother is high up on her priority list. And the fact that she’s a virgin, is not going to stop her from reaching her goal

My virginity and my sexuality don’t define me. The fact that I have never had sex with somebody else has no effect on who I am, my strengths, my abilities, my beauty or my intellect. I am a strong, attractive woman who chooses to keep myself for myself until somebody worthy comes along. I know a lot of women who are still virgins in their late 30s and 40s. Being a virgin is not a priority in today’s modern society, because virginity doesn’t really sell anything. When the sex topic comes up in conversations, most of us will just shy away [and keep quiet]. I’m sometimes ashamed, and sometimes afraid of how people will react when they realise that I have never had sex with another human being.

I was taught from a very young age that sex is only for married couples and that sex outside of marriage is sin. This fear was instilled in me. I remember how, as a young girl, I fantasised about sex and tried masturbation, although, in my head, it always felt sinful and wrong. I am now 42. I have hormones like everyone else, and if I get horny, I get out some toys, watch something naughty, have a great orgasm and then go to bed.

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