Tin foil hats at the ready!
Fairlady|January 2020
We love a good conspiracy theory – the kookier, the better. So we veered off course to find the craziest contemporary conspiracy theories doing the rounds.
CHRISTINA PITT

The Reptilian Elite

As if we need another reason to hate politicians. One of the biggest conspiracy theories of all time is about a shape-shifting lizard race that has ‘infiltrated high policymaking circles through their powers of mind control’. Powerful figures – from Queen Elizabeth and Barack Obama to the Clintons – have all been accused of being reptilian humanoids.

What on earth do lizard people want? World domination, of course. Once they have that, they intend to use their influence to lower the standard of living for human beings. Well – hello!

The lizard elite has been referenced since 1929, most notably in the works of Robert E Howard, author of Conan the Barbarian. Fifty years after his death, his ideas took on a life of their own, and cults were formed based on a belief in the existence of reptilian people. (Kind of reminds you of another cult based on science fiction, no? *cough* Scientology *cough*) The theory gained popularity again in 1991 when former footballer and prolific reptilian theorist David Icke claimed that the world’s richest families were lizard people.

According to Icke, the reptilians are aliens called the Anunnaki, who set forth from Planet X in search of gold. They found plentiful gold on Earth but needed a lesser species (humans) to enslave and do the dirty work for them. These reptilians now preside over humans and supposedly participate in global conflicts and paedophilia to ensure that the world eventually becomes uninhabitable.

If you’re thinking, ‘Who is going to believe any of this?’, fasten your seatbelt. A 2013 Public Policy Poll revealed that 12 million Americans believe that reptilians run the US government. (To be fair, it would explain a lot.)

Even Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been accused of being a reptilian. During a Q&A streaming session in 2016, a Facebook user asked Zuckerberg if he was secretly a lizard. Zuckerberg responded: ‘I’m gonna have to go with a “no” on that.’ He is still under suspicion though, along with the likes of Taylor Swift, Madonna, and Angelina Jolie.

The most ‘compelling’ story of all was published by Australian news website PerthNow, that claimed that pop sensation Justin Bieber transformed into his lizard form in front of hundreds of witnesses during a concert in 2017. The story alleged that the singer had a ‘black stripe down the middle’ and ‘big, scary claws’. The story was deleted within the hour.

The ‘God particle’ collider that opens the portal to hell

The European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) is one of the most powerful labs in the world – it’s credited with discovering the Higgs boson (the ‘God particle’) and playing a role in the development of the World Wide Web (Tim Berners-Lee was working there at the time). But for some reason, the organisation is viewed as a sinister, shadowy operation. Some have even accused it of being a satanic cult!

The lab’s reputation wasn’t helped by the installation of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the world’s biggest particle accelerator, which was instrumental in discovering the ‘God particle’ in 2012. Scientists at CERN built the LHC to determine how the universe works by studying subatomic particles, and how fundamental forces like gravity work the way they do.

Before the LHC was switched on in 2008, some people were convinced it would destroy Earth or create an all-consuming black hole. Some conspiracy theorists even believe that CERN is responsible for natural disasters. Most terrifying of all, some believe the LHC opens portals into different dimensions, including hell.

In 2016, doomsday rumours spiked when a video of a fake ritual killing filmed at CERN near a statue of Shiva (the Hindu god of destruction) went viral, prompting an investigation by the organisation itself. CERN later stated that the video was a prank concocted by a few scientists.

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM FAIRLADYView All

How to Survive the Feast-Or Famine Cycle

It’s empowering to have more than one income stream, but there is a downside: it’s easy to splurge when money is plentiful, but what about the lean months? Three self-starters share their tips for keeping an even keel through good and bad.

6 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

Kaley's Comet

Kaley Cuoco was so beguiling as Penny on The Big Bang Theory that she soon became one of the highest paid actors in television. With HBO’s comedic thriller series The Flight Attendant, she entered exciting, slightly sinister new territory – but it proved her range as an actress and cemented her broad-based appeal.

7 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

Let the Music Play

My dad died days before the global lockdown. While I was trapped within four walls, music and dancing gave me reason to smile again.

7 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

How to Make Your Own Luck

Luck isn’t easy to measure or study, but those who have managed to do it discovered it’s not the work of fate – it’s a skill you can cultivate and improve. So, how do you go about it?

8 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

Local Flavour

Stocking up your pantry? These artisanal foods are guaranteed to ignite the senses of home chefs everywhere. Meet the foodies behind two of South Africa’s tastiest brands.

7 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

The Comfort of Ritual

Rituals imbue our lives with depth and meaning. And in times of uncertainty, they are even more important because they create a sense of grounding.

8 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

Get Your Shine Back!

When the last of the summer heat is over, it’s important to take time to reverse any hair damage caused by sun and sea water.

5 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

The Rise of the Personal Shopper

It’s not a new concept, but the number of people who make a living from sourcing goods on behalf of clients is on the rise. We talked to three personal shoppers to find out what it takes.

7 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

Back to the Wild

Imagine camping in the Little Karoo… a billion stars above you, the ancient desert beneath, the insistent flapping of your canvas tent in the cold night air. Then banish all the rustic images this conjures up – because Dwyka Tented Lodge will confound all your expectations.

6 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022

A Good (Mo) Hair Day

"Beauty Mokgwamme had other dreams, but circumstances took her exactly where she was meant to be."

3 mins read
Fairlady
March/April 2022
RELATED STORIES

KATY'S OLD-HOLLYWOOD DREAMS!

SUPERFAN Katy Perry is playing host on the new podcast Elizabeth the First, about screen legend Elizabeth Taylor.

1 min read
Star
May 09, 2022

SPACEX LAUNCHES 4 ASTRONAUTS FOR NASA AFTER PRIVATE FLIGHT

SpaceX launched four astronauts to the International Space Station for NASA on Wednesday, less than two days after completing a flight chartered by millionaires.

3 mins read
AppleMagazine
April 29, 2022

FUEL LEAK THWARTS NASA'S DRESS REHEARSAL FOR MOON ROCKET

NASA’s latest attempt to fuel its huge moon rocket for a countdown test was thwarted last week by a hazardous hydrogen leak, the latest in a series of vexing equipment trouble.

1 min read
AppleMagazine
April 22, 2022

Can a Retired Rocket Engine Take Us to Mars?

The space shuttle's main engine was mothballed with the program in 2011. Now NASA believes it's the future of interplanetary travel.

9 mins read
Popular Mechanics
May - June 2022

Sex, Love, and Art in the Suburbs

What happens when life doesn't go as planned? Now in his 40s, a former bohemian comes to terms with a kind of life and love very different from what he'd expected.

6 mins read
Esquire
April - May 2022

JAPAN'S NISSAN PLANS ‘GAME CHANGING' ELECTRIC CAR BATTERIES

Nissan is working with NASA on a new type of battery for electric vehicles that promises to charge quicker and be lighter yet safe, the Japanese automaker said.

2 mins read
AppleMagazine
April 15, 2022

US Astronaut Ends Record-long Spaceflight in Russian Capsule

A NASA astronaut caught a Russian ride back to Earth on Wednesday after a U.S. record 355 days at the International Space Station, returning with two cosmonauts to a world torn apart by war.

3 mins read
AppleMagazine
April 01, 2022

Private Space Stations Are Coming (and Soon)

Since construction began in 1998, The International Space Station (ISS) has served as the essential platform where multiple countries have collaborated to support scientific research and other activities requiring the unique attributes of humans in space.

2 mins read
Innovation & Tech Today
Winter 2021

NASA HEAD: WE HAVE COOPERATION WITH OUR RUSSIAN COLLEAGUES

NASA Administrator Bill Nelson played down recent comments by the head of Russia’s space agency that the United States would have to use broomsticks to fly to space after Russia said it would stop supplying rocket engines to U.S. companies.

1 min read
AppleMagazine
March 25, 2022

US Astronaut to Ride Russian Spacecraft Home During Tensions

US astronaut Mark Vande Hei has made it through nearly a year in space, but faces what could be his trickiest assignment yet: riding a Russian capsule back to Earth in the midst of deepening tensions between the countries.

5 mins read
AppleMagazine
March 18, 2022