The lack of magic words to cure grief really pissed me off, to be honest. Before my mom died, words had been my solace. They had been able to describe, in minute detail, how I felt. They had offered a way to vent or explain or move through feelings that always made me feel better. They had been a bridge to other people.
But suddenly they didn’t work. All I could do was describe the facts and try, somehow, to wrap my head around them.
My mom was a healthy 72-year-old. In late May, she started complaining of sore feet and persistent acid reflux. In mid-June she said she’d lost weight and was really tired, so we sent her for a battery of blood tests. The tests showed an abnormally high cancer count, so she was admitted to hospital. The next day she had a stroke, and the doctor gave us the diagnosis: ‘the worst possible scenario’. Ten days after that, she died.
My mom – my constant compass, daily cheery WhatsApp sender, biggest fan and best friend – was gone.
In the wake of her death, I came unmoored. I had flown to Durban from Cape Town as soon as we got the diagnosis, and my husband and kids and brothers and nephews and nieces all made the journey too. After her funeral, we flew back and I tried to make sense of a world in which I had no mom. Everything I looked at around my home reminded me of her: the obvious things, like the quilts she had made us and the earrings she’d bought me, but also the recipe book filled with her recipes, the cream cheese we both loved, the plants I had stolen from our childhood home. Nothing didn’t hurt.
This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the September/October 2021 edition of Fairlady.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Easter with edge
Grant knows what it's like to miss out on the celebrations that anchor family life.
The MALE bias
Historically, medical studies were mainly done on male mice and on men; and then extrapolated to treat women, as if a female body were just a smaller version of a male one. Here’s why that doesn’t make sense, and how to work with your body’s natural rhythm for better health.
Wellbeing
How to sleep better, feel better and look better!
The other type of CHEATING
Lies about money can have devastating consequences in a relationship.
THE 'PEST' IN PESTICIDES
oe r Despite many highly Hs hazardous pesticides being banned in their countries of origin, 192 of them are still legally exported to South Africa
START A BUSINESS LIKE a Saffer
There's nothing quite like a South African entrepreneur. In the face of adversity, they innovate and persevere. But what fuels that determination? We chatted to some self-starters to find out.
How to take the MONOTONY OUT OF MONOGAMY
It's easy to get complacent in a long-term relationship. Before you know it, your partner is little more than your roommate. Here's how to shake things up.
SUPER TROUPER
At one point, Josie Borain was the most famous model in the world. Her face was on every magazine that mattered. And in the madness of all that attention, she never lost her sense of self. She talks to us about turning 60, being single, and starting her third act with a move to the platteland.
Little wonder
Over the years we have visited 16 Greek islands, but when we first set foot on Halki, the little-known gem just south of Rhodes, we knew we'd found the closest thing to the perfect one. And we vowed to return. Often.
HOME AFFAIRS
These three entrepreneurs are redefining the heartbeat of homes through their unique blend of creativity, sustainability and purposeful design.
