Why Can't We Unfollow Our Exes?
Cosmopolitan - South Africa|September 2016

What are we really looking for when we set out to find a former flame?

Jenny Mollen
Why Can't We Unfollow Our Exes?

I HADN’T SPOKEN to Adam (not his real name … his real name is Dante*) in years. We dated when I was 19 and the kind of train wreck a lot of us are at 19. A girl who lied about her gran dying in order to end a relationship. A girl who pretended not to be home when he rushed over to work things out. A girl who was there one minute, gone the next.

I couldn’t say why, exactly, I’d decided to reach out to Adam. Reconnecting with an ex isn’t really something you plan. A song comes on the radio and you find yourself leaving an awkward voicemail about Death Cab for Cutie. You’re lying beside your sleeping significant other and you accidentally like a picture on an Instagram account you don’t even follow. Whether we act on it or not, we’ve all had the impulse to reach out, to ‘check in’, to go searching for what feels like a misplaced sweater that used to look super-cute on us – not because we want to wear it again but just to make sure it still fits. We justify our actions with all sorts of excuses about closure or making amends or wanting to make sure the other person is happy. The truth is, checking in really isn’t about them. It’s about us.

Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.

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