Lasting Good Behaviour
Bona|July 2017

Bribery rewards and punishment can get your child to listen to you, but won’t necessarily lead to good manners. Find out how to discipline your kids for long-term results.

Kerryn Massyn
Lasting Good Behaviour

A well-behaved and polite child is any parent’s dream. Of course, children are going to break the rules as they grow up. This is a way of testing their boundaries and figuring out their place in the world. It’s therefore your duty as a parent to give your child the confidence and self-awareness to do this without getting into trouble. How can it be done?

BRIBERY IS MOMENTARY

“Whenever my daughter Lebo, who is three years old, refuses to eat her supper, I tell her that she can have a biscuit when she finishes her food. It used to work well, but now even the promise of a treat doesn’t get her to eat her veggies,” says Gugu Mafumo, a mom of one from Johannesburg. “Lebo has suddenly started saying she wants me to buy her new clothes or toys, instead of biscuits!”

This is a tactic that many parents have turned to, especially when trying to get a stubborn child to comply with what they want. However, parenting experts warn against bribery.

“At first, children are thrilled and excited, and will do anything to earn rewards. So, it will seem as if the act of bribery is working. But, after a while, they stop behaving unless they receive a reward,” says Kaashifa King, a parent education facilitator and counsellor at The Parent Centre in Cape Town.

“Additionally, children start to compare themselves with others and how they are being rewarded. After that, they may decide that it is too difficult to earn the rewards and start rebelling. As a parent, you want your children to demonstrate positive behaviour because it’s either the right thing to do, or because it will benefit them socially in the long run,” Kaashifa explains.

USING REWARDS SUCCESSFULLY

This story is from the July 2017 edition of Bona.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the July 2017 edition of Bona.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM BONAView All
Damage At Work: Who Pays?
Bona

Damage At Work: Who Pays?

What happens when you damage company property or property that belongs to your employer? Are you liable for the costs?

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Safety Tips When Driving With Kids
Bona

Safety Tips When Driving With Kids

The roads we drive on can be quite treacherous. Car safety is not only limited to you as a driver, but also your passengers including your children. Vuyi Mpofu gives us six safety tips that you must abide by.

time-read
3 mins  |
June 2020
The Impact Of The Coronavirus
Bona

The Impact Of The Coronavirus

When COVID-19 hit South Africa, it came as no surprise that the virus would impact vulnerable communities such as townships and rural areas the hardest. The frequently asked questions since then have been whether the government has given enough information and resources to the people in disadvantaged areas or not. Everson Luhanga investigates further.

time-read
5 mins  |
June 2020
Financially Surviving Covid-19
Bona

Financially Surviving Covid-19

Our finance guru, Sinesipho Maninjwa, shares advice on how you can navigate and survive the financial impact of the coronavirus.

time-read
9 mins  |
June 2020
All I Want Is A Baby
Bona

All I Want Is A Baby

Trying to conceive with no success, and undergoing fertility treatment can take its toll on your relationship. This is the reality for many couples, and yet it remains a taboo subject.

time-read
4 mins  |
June 2020
THE TRUTH ABOUT - feminine hygiene products
Bona

THE TRUTH ABOUT - feminine hygiene products

Despite numerous attempts by medical professionals to debunk the need for feminine hygiene products, numerous women still use them. Lethabo Nxumalo finds out why and if they are truly putting you at risk.

time-read
4 mins  |
June 2020
THREE GENERATIONS OF MTOBA women
Bona

THREE GENERATIONS OF MTOBA women

Linda Mtoba (27) is a mom, and she’s extremely happy about it. She chats to Amanda Mtuli about her pregnancy and what motherhood has taught her thus far. She also introduces us to her beautiful daughter, Bean. We are lucky to have the matriarch of the family, Linda’s mother Celiwe Mtoba (47), present during the interview. She lovingly gushes over her first grandchild while giving us insight into what it was like raising Linda.

time-read
9 mins  |
June 2020
THE OLDER SIBLING Blues
Bona

THE OLDER SIBLING Blues

Expecting the arrival of your bundle of joy may be exciting for you and your partner, but might not be so thrilling for your older child. Experts say kids sometimes struggle to accept the changes that a newborn brings. Fundiswa Nkwanyana spoke to some of them to help you prepare your firstborn for the new family member.

time-read
4 mins  |
June 2020
Owning THE SPOTLIGHT
Bona

Owning THE SPOTLIGHT

Film and TV star Fulu Mugovhani (29), currently graces our screens as Noli on the M-Net series, Still Breathing. The former Scandal! actress talks about getting into showbiz and lessons learnt on and off the stage.

time-read
2 mins  |
June 2020
Life After losing a child
Bona

Life After losing a child

A parent’s worst fear is the death of a child. And, when that fear becomes a reality, grief becomes unbearable and acceptance seems impossible. Four readers share intimate details of their journeys.

time-read
8 mins  |
June 2020